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Q: What is every blonde's ambition?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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An alien walked into a shop and told the owner that he came from Mars and wanted to buy a brain for research.
''How much is this one?'' he asked. ''That one is a monkey brain, and it's $20,'' the owner explained.
''How much is that one?'' the alien asked. "That one is a female brain, and it's $100,'' the owner replied.
''And how much is that one?'' the alien asked. ''That one is a male's brain and it is $500'' the owner explained.
''Why so expensive?'' the alien asked. The owner answered,''Well, it's hardly been used!''

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Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A: The translator.

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Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off the soda's bottle cap and putting it back on?
A: The bottle cap said, "Sorry, try again."

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Q: How do you catch a вrа?
A: Set up a boobie trap.

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A woman was in bed having sеx with her husband's friend when the telephone rang.
After hanging up, she says, ''That was Harry, but don't worry - he won't be home for a while. He's playing cards with you.''

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Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

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Q: How are blondes and computers similar?
A: You never appreciate them until they go down on you.

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A man walks into a whоrеhоusе looking for a little action and he goes up to the house owner and asks,Hey, can I get a piece from one of your fine ladies you've got here?
Sorry sir, the owner responds, but, we're all full. Aw, please I really need some рооn tang! And the owner awnswers, Well, there is one girl left but when you go meet her you have to wear this black соndом. Whatever, the man answers quickly and races upstairs. A few hours later the man comes down and says ''Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black соndом? And the owner answers, Respect for the dead.

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Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery.
"Oh, no," said the priest, thinking of the most promiscuous women in town. "Was it with Marie Brown?"
"I'd rather not say who it was."
"Was it with Betty Smith?"
"I'd rather not say," says Joe. So the priest gives him absolution and Joe leaves. While leaving the church, Joe's friend asks if he received absolution.
"Yes, and two very good leads!"

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Tell her a blonde joke.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.

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Q: What do you get with a corduroy соndом?
A: A groovy kind of love.

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Two guys are susposed to meet at 4:
30. Charley shows up at 4:30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5:00, Paul shows up and Charley says, Where have you been? You're a 1/2 hour late. Paul replies, Sorry, I had to go to the dentist. My diск's been hurting bad. Charley says, If your diск's been hurting, why did you go to the dentist? Paul answers, Because I had a tooth stuck in it.

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Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, because they never get the house.

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A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, "What are you going to do with all of those?"
The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them, and now he s**ts in little plastic baggies!"

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Q: Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?
A: He's been chasing parked cars.

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An 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, nакеd, against a wall. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in."

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