• Home
  • Joke Categories
  • Popular
  • Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)
  • Funny pictures
  • Most popular
  • Newest jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Corona virus jokes (Covid - 19), Coronavirus
  • Dad Jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Gynaecology Jokes, Gynaecologist Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Jokes about US Elections 2020 Trump vs Biden
  • Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Psychology, Psychotherapy, and psychiatry jokes, Shrinks Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
  • Scots jokes, Scotsman Jokes, Scottish jokes, Scotland Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Chuck Norris
  • Dark Humor
  • Dirty jokes
  • Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes
  • Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes
  • Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes
  • Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
  • Putin jokes, Vladimir Putin Jokes
  • Valentine's Day Jokes
Вицове за Военни English Militärwitze Chistes militares Военные анекдоты Blagues militaires Barzellette sui Мilitari, Barz... Στρατιωτικά ανέκδοτα Воени вицеви Asker Fıkraları, Askerlik Fıkr... Анекдоти про армію, Анекдоти в... Piadas de caserna Dowcipy i kawały: Wojsko Militär skämt, Militärer Leger moppen Militæret vittigheder, Vittigh... Vitser om militæret Vitsit sotilaista Magyar Bancuri Militari, Bancuri Sold... Anekdoty a vtipy o vojácích a ... Anekdotai apie kariuomenę, Kar... Anekdotes par armiju, Armijā Ratni vicevi
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Newest jokes
  2. Military Jokes

Military Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
0
0
4
1. Change last name to Crunch.
2. Join the military.
3. Work my way up to Captain.
4. Become Captain Crunch.
0
0
4
A teacher asked three students what causes war. The first student said,
"Knives." The second one said,
"Guns." The third one drew a dot on the board. The teacher asked,
"What's that?" The student replied, "A period." The teacher asked "How does a period cause war?" The student replied, "If my sister misses one, my mom will кill her."
0
0
4

The US Military doesn’t seem to have recruiting problems any more since standards have been relaxed with “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
When their tour is over, soldiers are re-upping in droves because they don’t want to leave their buddies’ behind.
0
0
4
A sergeant gives a private a hard time. He says,
"Private, I bet you are just waiting for me to die so you can come and urinate on my grave!"
The private replied, "No sir, when I get out of the army I am not going to stand in more long, long lines!"
0
0
4
I come from a sтuрid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.
0
0
4
There was an inn keeper who urgently needed to expand his parking lot due to his business's growing needs.  However, the lot next to his, which he had purchased, was covered with tree saplings and the city had an ordinance against bulldozing trees.  The inn keeper was a powerful man on the city council and was friends with all of its members.  He brought up an amendment to the council to allow him to bulldoze the saplings so he could pave it for his new lot.  Was he successful?
No, the   "infant tree's"   always beat the   "Inn's urgency".
0
0
4
Two sailors got off their battleship after seven months at sea. As soon as they walked on solid ground they saw a lady walking away from them about fifty yards ahead.
Her long blonde hair caused one sailor to muster the courage to say "hello". As she turned around they could see she was at least eight months pregnant!
The wide-eyed sailor quickly apologized, "Sorry Ma'am, we thought you were alone."
0
0
4
Whose the most vague person in the Military ?
General Direction.
0
0
4
Sergeant (to new recruit): What were you before you joined the army?
New Recruit: Happy, Sergeant.
0
0
4
Did you hear about the woman who was waging a war on poverty?
She bombed the soup kitchen.
0
0
4
They were dancing at the service club. He held her tight, his eyes were closed, and they danced as though floating on a cloud. Then the music stopped. "Let's go out on the porch," he said.
Outside, he took her in her arms and whispered in her shell-like ear, "Darling, I love you so. Say that you love me, too. I may not be rich like Sergeant Brown. I may not have a car like Sergeant Brown or spend money like he does, but I love you so much I'd do anything in the world for you."
Two soft, white arms reached around his neck, and two ruby lips whispered in his ear, "Darling, introduce me to Sergeant Brown."
0
0
4

How do you clear an Iraqi Bingo parlor?
Yell “B52”
0
0
4
A Marine private was filling out a questionnaire for a correspondence course.
He got to this question:
"How long has your present employer been in business?"
He thought for a moment, then wrote:
"Since 1775."
0
0
4
During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degree.
“But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees,” called out a conscript.
“Don’t be sтuрid,” the sergeant roared. “This is a small circle.”
0
0
4
A Navy Officer was trying to make a phone call, but had no change, three Marines were approaching and the Officer asked one of them, "excuse me private do you have change for a dollar?" the private replied, "yes I do", the Navy officer said,
"Don't you mean no sir, now let's try this again" so the Navy Officer, asked again " private do you have change for a dollar?” The private replied, "no sir"
0
1
4
My wife never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the base orderly room to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall.
"He can be reached at 4700, Ma'am," the soldier advised.
With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, "And just what time is that?"
0
0
4
During an army basic training, the lieutenant took the batch on a match and asked each of them where home was. After everyone had answered, he sneered and said "you are all wrong, the army is now your home".
Back at the barracks, he read the evening duties, then asked the first sergeant if he had anything to say "you bet I do" the sergeant replied, "men, while you were gone today, I found beds improperly made, clothes not hanging correctly, shoes not shined and footlockers a mess. Where do you think you are? Home?
0
0
4
  • Previous
  • Next

Privacy and Policy Contact Us