Florida’s Fugaway Indian Tribe (Short History of How they Got Their Name.)
The Fugaways (pronounced fuh-gah-weyz) were an Indian tribe who resided in central Florida and there is a legend as to how they got their tribal name. It is rumored that sometimes they got lost while hunting in the Florida forests and the swamps and wilderness.
Well, one afternoon, after the chief and his braves had been hunting all day, it was time to head back to camp. But where was camp? The territory they were in seemed foreign. The Chief led his band of warriors south a-ways … nothing. The chief led them west… just more wilderness.
Evening was coming and the chief didn’t want to look foolish in front of his braves who were веnт over carrying all the deer, turkey and alligator meat from the day’s hunt. Then wonder of wonders… a high hill! The chief took out his map and motioned to the braves to follow him up the hill. There was some grumbling, as their backpacks were heavy but they all climbed the hill.
The chief looked north: nothing but forest.
He looked east: no sign of wigwams or the Indian women tending the babies.
The chief looked south: no curls of smoke from the campfires.
He turned west: Just a vast swamp with alligators and large snakes.
Once again he looked at his map in frustration, then looked heavenward and raised his fists to the sky. Then he beat on his chest, yelling, “WE’RE THE FUGAWAY?!!”
Now if you’re re-telling this to an audience, the punch line sounds the best if you actually flail your fists on your chest to create a vibrato effect to your voice…
BTW, Historians haven’t told us if the chief and braves finally found their way back to camp, but they must have, or this little anecdote of history would never have been recorded.
Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village just outside of some place you've never heard of, there was quite a stir amongst the villagers. The villagers, you see, wanted to schedule a race so that they could support their compulsive gambling habits, but could not find their two main contestants, the tortoise and the hare, and were forced to search for replacements. Nobody in the village was willing to race, because they all wanted to bet on it and get drunк during the race.
After many hours of searching, they found the best replacements they could, which happened to be a snail and a dung beetle. Neither of them wanted to race, but were forced to do so by the rest of the villagers. And so the race was scheduled for the next day. That night, snail and dung beetle went out to the bar in order to prepare themselves for their race. After many hours, and many exotic, alcohol-filled drinks, snail and dung beetle were prepared for their race, and went off to their separate houses in order to get some sleep before the big race.
The next morning, snail got up early and headed out to the racetrack, and dung beetle did the same. They stood ready at the start line and got prepared for the race. Soon, the shot was fired, and the race began. The dung beetle appropriately pooped himself. and the snail hid inside his shell. The villagers went to war.
The simulated battle
A squad of soldiers-in-training stood in line to get their practice weapons for an upcoming simulated battle. As the last guy got up to the sergeant, the sergeant said, “sorry son, we’re all out. Take this broom instead.” The private looked puzzled so the sergeant explained, “When you see the enemy, point the broom at them and say ‘bangity, bangity, ваng.’ Don’t worry, it will work fine.”
So the private and the rest of his squad headed out to the battle field. Shortly after they started marching, the private spotted an enemy. Reluctantly, he put the broom up to his shoulder, aimed down the handle and shouted, “bangity, bangity, ваng.” Much to his surprise, the enemy fell over. A few moments later, he spotted another enemy, pointed his broom, and shouted “bangity, bangity, ваng.” Again, the enemy fell over.
This, of course energized the private so he jumped up, pointed his broom and shouted “bangity, bangity, ваng,”
“bangity, bangity, ваng,” ‘bangity, bangity, ваng.’ Enemies fell all around him.
Off in the distance, he spotted another enemy, raised his broom and shouted “bangity, bangity, ваng.” This time, however, the enemy didn’t fall over. As the enemy got closer, the private pointed his broom and shouted even louder, “bangity, bangity, ваng.” Still, the enemy didn’t fall and, instead, just kept marching toward the private.
The enemy got within feet of the private and one more time he aimed his broom and screamed, “bangity, bangity, ваng.” But the enemy just kept on marching. He walked into the private, knocked him over, stepped on him and kept on walking. And as he went by, the private heard the enemy say, “tankity, tankity, tank, tankity, tankity, tank.”