If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.
OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down... Etc.
SOOOOoooooooooo I'm the only one who would be using Female products..... Correct?
A STRANGE thing was happening at my house. Tampons were disappearing. * Insert Twilight Zone theme here *
Ok.... A few months ago I went to my cupboard to get out a тамроn and there was ONLY one left. I could have sworn I had just bought a box the month before. So, I go back to the store, buy a new box and forget about it.
The next month (T. O. M) I go back to the cupboard..... And VOILA.... There is only ONE тамроn left again. What's going on here? Gremlins??? I go to the store and buy another box, and forget about it.
WELL..... I decided to clean out my two youngest sons closet and LOW and BEHOLD.... At the bottom of their closet are the wrappers, applicators and the tampons themselves.
I am starting to FREAK!!! Dear God, what are they doing with them??????
I get a hold of myself and tell myself that I am an adult and can handle this, despite the bizarre thoughts running through my mind. I'm thinking, "Do I have enough money saved up in the bank for MAJOR THERAPY?"
I go to the top of the stairs and yell for my two youngest sons to "COME HERE!!!!"
They march up the stairs and find me in their room staring into the bottom of their closet.
I said "What are you doing with THOSE? THOSE are MINE!"
My 12 year old looks like a deer caught in the headlights and is silent.
My 10 year old looks at me all innocent and says. "Well, Mom, we were playing with our G. I. Joes and stuff... and THOSE make really good SCUD missiles... What do YOU use them for?"
"Never mind!! Go play!!!!"
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy.
One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David.
Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite.”
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said, “Moishe, would you look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!”
It seems there was an agreement between two of the top power nations at the height of the arms race which grew out of their concern of global annihilation. Both sides agreed on a final end-all battle which would be one gigantic mean dogfight. Each would get five years to prepare their top animals. The first one, the Ugonauts, took the biggest, meanest Rottweiler and Doberman females and bred them with the biggest, meanest Siberian Wolves money could buy. Then they selected only the biggest, meanest pups of the litter to rebreed, year after year. It finally came to the big day. The Hugonauts had to drag their entry in with huge heavy ropes, and no one could get near the cage. The Argonauts toted in the craziest crate -- it was low to the ground and eight feet long. When they opened it, people gasped! Out waddled the funniest looking eight feet long wiener dog anyone had ever seen. People felt sorry for the Argonauts, and the Hugos snickered in disbelief. The heavy door to the Hugo's terror was slowly pulled open and out jumped the most hideous monster of a dog there'd ever been, snarling and growling. Just as the monster pounced at the neck of the wiener dog to take him out, the wiener dog opened its mouth and swallowed the Hugo's dog whole! Everyone was in total disbelief! The Hugos said they just couldn't understand it! They'd spent years and years perfecting this animal, how could this be? The Argo's glibly replied, "That's nothing. We spent hundreds of thousands of dollars for the top plastic surgeons in the world to come here and make this alligator look like a wiener dog!" (Just goes to show ya, things aren't always what they look like!)