Most popular jokes

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said,
"You're a man of God. Can't you do something about this?"
He replied,
"Sorry, I can't. I'm in sales, not management."

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Religion jokes

A crazy man jumps from the bushes and opens his coat in front of an old lady to surprise and terrify her.
The granny takes a look at him and sais: "oh, dash, I´ve forgotten to buy the eggs."

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Old People Jokes Dirty jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sреrм whale.

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

A blonde enters a library.
She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
The librarian says "Ma'am this is library."
So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."

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Blonde Jokes Food Jokes Business jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!

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Student jokes Light bulb jokes Graduation Jokes Stupid Jokes

Patient: "Doctor, I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "I understand."
Patient: "Understand what?"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?

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Computer Jokes Technology Jokes Communication Jokes

Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course.But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury.
"Madam," he explained, "this is not a мurdеr trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday."
"Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all."

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Judge and Court Jokes

A man is visiting a foreign country but does not speak the language that they speak there.
He decides to go to a church service, but the priest is speaking the native language, so the American man just does whatever the man in front of him does.
When the man in front of him stands, so does the American man.
When the man in front of him sits, so does the American man.
At one point, the priest says something, and the man in front of him stood.
So the American man stood too.
Everyone in the church gasped, so the American man hurriedly sat back down.
Later, the American man figured out that the priest was congratulating a birth.
When he had asked who was the father, and both men stood up, it had caused some confusion!

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Church jokes Dad Jokes Baby Jokes Communication Jokes American Jokes Priest Jokes

John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke."
Michael: "Get money from your job."
John: "I got fired."
Michael: "Why?"
John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside."
Michael: "This is why we are friends."

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Friendship Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Management Jokes Boss Jokes

A man walks into a sреrм Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Geek jokes Communication Jokes Internet Jokes Banker Jokes

Q: What does a gаy order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.

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Asian jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
The retiree replied, "Oh great!
NOW you tell me!"

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Golf jokes Office and Work Jokes Sports Jokes Old People Jokes

I've been taking Viаgrа for my sunburn.
It doesn't cure it but it keeps the bed sheets off my legs at night.

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Viagra jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Nurse jokes

Hey, you wanna do a 68?
You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.

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Dirty jokes Money jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Flirt jokes

A white boy and a black boy were arguing one day.
The white boy screams "God is white!"
The black boy screams "God is black!"
This goes on and on for about an hour when all of a sudden there comes a loud сrаск of lightning and the heavens open up and a booming voice says "I am what I am."
The white boy jumps up and says "See, I told you so!"
To which the black boy says "How does that prove God's white?"
The white boy replies "Because if God were black he would have said, "I is what I is."

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Kids Jokes Communication Jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.

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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Cannibal Jokes

Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?"
Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks Pritam, puzzled.
"Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."

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Car and driving jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children.
We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt.
When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, "Dad, what's going to happen to us when you die?"
My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone.
"We'll go in the limousine duммy."

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Dad Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Funeral jokes Sick and Death Jokes Phone jokes

Most Popular Jokes