Music jokes, Musician Jokes

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I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.

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Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus

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What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common?
There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.

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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

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I went to an ISIS birthday party once.
The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuск me the pass the parcel was quick.

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Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm

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All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.

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There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.”
She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company.
In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?”
The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!”
So the woman asked, “Is this a record?”
To which the man replied, “No, its average!”

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Eminem says "I'm not afraid".
Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"

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"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

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I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter...
I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.

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Mom can i buy some heels?
No.
Mom can i buy a вrа?
No.
Mom can i buy a dress?
No.
Mom can i buy a barbie doll?
No. You never let me buy anything!
Shut up, Justin.

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My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.
But In the end, it doesn't even matter.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.

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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.

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What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band?
The Doors.

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How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music?
They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.

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