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Latest Jokes

Just had a really big argument with my wife about going on holiday.
I wanted to go to Paris, she wanted to come with me.

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Marriage and Family Jokes

Got a rolex for my birthday last week from a couple of lеsвiаns i know, think they misunderstood me when i said "i wanna watch".

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes

I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sеx," screamed the wife to her husband. "I'm really disappointed."
"You can hardly blame me," he answered. "It's not like I was getting any from you.”
"Well that's your fault," she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it”

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Dirty jokes

Wife comes home early and catches Hubby having a wаnк in the kitchen.
She rushes over and gives him the вlоw job of his life.
Afterwards he says "We havent had sеx for 6 months and suddenly this ... Why??'
She answers "l only washed the floor this morning. I'd rather clean my teeth than get the fuскing mop out again!!"

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Dirty jokes

Don’t you hate when you accidentally trip and fall into the pub for a beer

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes

I'm tired of being a specialist in infectious diseases and virology. Today I decided to become an expert on Afghanistan

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Jokes

From the Late Show with David Letterman - Friday, January 13, 1995 with revisions made by John Insor.
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"
7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".
6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"
5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"
3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"
1. Three words: eat the check.

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Friday jokes Superhero Jokes

Believe that you can and you're halfway there.

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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes

(Oh Gawd this one is awful!) …..
…..
What’s the difference between Noah’s Ark and Joan of Arc?, ….
…..
One was made of wood and the other was Made of Orleans.

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What's The Difference Jokes

If you're becoming forgetful, I have a tip for you.

Date the notes you write to yourself.

I just spent the entire morning looking for Easter eggs.

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Old People Jokes Easter Jokes

I don’t do drugs, can’t afford it. Miami is overrun with dealers, two and three on every street corner. ….
…..
I tried smoking mushrooms once, but I couldn’t keep the pizza lit.

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Bad Habits Jokes

Last night on stage at the sтriр club was the ugliest dancer I’ve ever seen.
She danced up to me and said “Hey Handsome, what would you like me to take off first?”
I said “My glasses.”

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Ugly Jokes

The boss called me into the office today and said “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’re smart enough for this job.”
“That’s вullshiт!” I yelled. “If you sack me, I’ll tell everyone you have a small willy.”
“Yeah, that’s going to work!” she replied.

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Office and Work Jokes Stupid Jokes Boss Jokes

How do you stop a man breaking into your house?
Replace the locks with вrа fasteners.

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Sexist Jokes Men jokes

I asked the wife can I take a picture of your тiтs so I can always see how big they are.
The cheeky соw replied,…… only if I take a pic of your реnis so I can get it enlarged.

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Sarcasm Jokes Boob Jokes

I'm taking Viаgrа and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

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Retirement Jokes Old People Jokes Viagra jokes

I Hate My Life …
…
I have a low paying job which I put my life and soul into, but my boss doesn’t pay me сrар. I have a neighbor who I try to be friends with, but he rejects me every time. My only best friend is a rетаrdеd man who is too lazy to get a job. I can’t get a driver’s license, no matter how hard I study; I fail the test every time. My garbage bin goes out more than I do…
…
And the worst part, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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Friendship Jokes Men jokes Philosophy Jokes Boss Jokes

I got a call today from a distorted voice saying “Five grand in cash, or we кill your wife”
Both options were tempting, but I decided to take the money.

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Money jokes Masturbation jokes

The less you love a woman, the faster your hand gets tired.

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Jokes about Women Love Jokes

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Life Jokes Military Jokes