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Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
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Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A:Santa stops after three hos.
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
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Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
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What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.
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What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggеrs?
He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
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Yeast + Billy Ray Cyrus = ?
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy тwат!
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Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp.
At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets.
He fired several shots at the target.
The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target.
He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again.
He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
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Priests and Christmas Trees
Στολίδια
Ποιά η ομοιότητα ανάμεσα σε έναν γέρο και στο Χριστουγεννιάτικο δέντρο;
Τα μπαλάκια
По какво си приличат свещеника и коледното дърво?
Quelle est la différence entre un curé et un arbre de Noël ?
Quelle est la différence entre un curé et un sapin de Noël ? Aucune: dans les deux cas les boules servent uniquement à décorer. ou bien Les boules du sapin servent au moins une fois dans l'année !
A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak. In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree
Hvad er ligheden imellem et juletræ og en steriliseret mand? - Kuglerne hænger kun til pynt
Hvad er ligheden på en munk og et juletræ? - Kuglene er kun til pynt.
Wat is de overeenkomst tussen de paus en een kerstboom? Bij allebei hangen de ballen er voor de sier!
- Mi a közös a pap és a karácsonyfa között? - ???? - Mind a kettőn díszek a golyók.
Qual a semelhança entre uma Árvore de Natal e um padre? As bolas são só de enfeite!
Le sapin de noël et le curé Quelle est la différence entre un sapin de noël et un curé? Dans les deux cas les boules sont là que pour faire joli
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both have balls just for decoration.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their ваlls are decoration only.
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Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is вisеxuаl.
She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
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