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What did Harry Potter do when he found the three-headed dog?
He ran... wouldn't you?

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Redneck Воотy Call... Elvis:
Can I come over and see your Velvet Elvis?

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Q: What happens if you cut off your right вuтт cheek?
A: You'll be left behind.

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In the movie, "Lord of the Rings" why does the Ring of Power glow?
Because it gets fingered by the Hobbit.

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From the Roast of Larry the Cable Guy:
I've found the best way to enjoy Larry's movies is to never put them in the DVD player.

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From the Roast of Larry the Cable Guy:
What can you say about a guy who looks like Brett Favre, sounds like Gomer Pyle and dresses like Ellen DeGeneres?

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Q: What happened when Batman and Robin got run over by a steamroller?
A: They became Flatman and Ribbon!

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Have you heard about Ron Howard's new movie a travel documentary about the Netherlands?
It's called ''Mr. Opie's Holland.''

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Q: What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common?
A: They both need three tugs to get into their slips.

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From the Roast of Larry the Cable Guy:
I love you Gary [Busey]. You're like Mickey Rourke without the comeback.

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80s Воотy Call... Indiana Jones:
I've got the Jones for you to enter my Temple of Doom.

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80s Воотy Call... Casio:
Wanna play my Casio? I keep it in my pants.

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80s Воотy Call... Hair:
You're the activator in my Jheri curl.

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80s Воотy Call... Kirk Cameron:
Like Kirk Cameron, I am experiencing growing pains - in my pants.

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Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President's Day?
A: All pants half off.

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In "Fellowship of the Rings," what did Sauron say to Frodo?
"You're a hard hobbit to break!"

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Q: Did you hear why Rosie O'Donnell got arrested?
A: Airport security lifted up her dress and found 200 pounds of сrаск.

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The Seven Dwarfs were sitting in a tub feeling happy.
So Happy got up and left.

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