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Q: What happened when Batman and Robin got run over by a steamroller?
A: They became Flatman and Ribbon!

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Have you heard about Ron Howard's new movie a travel documentary about the Netherlands?
It's called ''Mr. Opie's Holland.''

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Q: What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common?
A: They both need three tugs to get into their slips.

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80s Воотy Call... Indiana Jones:
I've got the Jones for you to enter my Temple of Doom.

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80s Воотy Call... Casio:
Wanna play my Casio? I keep it in my pants.

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80s Воотy Call... Commodore 64:
Wanna come back to my place and check out my Commodore 64?

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80s Воотy Call... Hair:
You're the activator in my Jheri curl.

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80s Воотy Call... Kirk Cameron:
Like Kirk Cameron, I am experiencing growing pains - in my pants.

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Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President's Day?
A: All pants half off.

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In "Fellowship of the Rings," what did Sauron say to Frodo?
"You're a hard hobbit to break!"

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Q: Did you hear why Rosie O'Donnell got arrested?
A: Airport security lifted up her dress and found 200 pounds of сrаск.

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The Seven Dwarfs were sitting in a tub feeling happy.
So Happy got up and left.

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How did Bill Clinton practice safe sеx?
He didn't light the cigar.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A: A sweater with big pockets.

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Ladies, they call this a 'half shirt' for a reason:
only half of y'all are supposed to wear this.

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White people, y'all are the only people to ever see aliens.
I'm telling you, it's true. I was watching something about sightings. You never see blacks and Hispanics on sightings. You don't see that. You want to know why? I'm going to tell you why you don't see us on it - because we mind our dамn business.

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Q: What did Luke Skywalker say to his girlfriend?
A: This is Red 5, I'm going in.

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There were five thousand Smurfs, and one Smurfette, and she sсrеwеd each one seven times.
Enter 5000+1 times 7 in a calculator to see what Smurfette was...

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