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The seven dwarves were on a bus, they started to feel Sleepy so he got off.
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How did Bill Clinton practice safe sеx?
He didn't light the cigar.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A: A sweater with big pockets.
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White people, y'all are the only people to ever see aliens.
I'm telling you, it's true. I was watching something about sightings. You never see blacks and Hispanics on sightings. You don't see that. You want to know why? I'm going to tell you why you don't see us on it - because we mind our dамn business.
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Q: What did Luke Skywalker say to his girlfriend?
A: This is Red 5, I'm going in.
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There were five thousand Smurfs, and one Smurfette, and she sсrеwеd each one seven times.
Enter 5000+1 times 7 in a calculator to see what Smurfette was...
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She is so blonde that it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."
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Mothers, y'all get songs dedicated to you.
Y'all got a song by The Intruders, 'I'll Always Love My Mama'... You got the song by The Spinners, 'Sadie.' Y'all remember that one? Fathers, what do we get? 'Papa Was a Rolling Stone.'
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When an attractive young girl returned from her honeymoon she was in a state bordering on desperation, and decided to write to the ''Aunt Marge'' page of her weekly magazine:
''I am at wit's end since it seems that the nice boy I married is really a sеx-maniac. He never leaves me alone - he makes love to me all night without stopping, and then while I'm cooking breakfast, cleaning the house, while I'm in the bath, while I'm watching TV, and so on, he just never stops! Can you please tell me what to do? Signed, Exhausted in Peoria P.S. Please excuse the jerky handwriting.''
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What is the best thing about getting head from?
Barbara Streisand?
Ten minutes of silence.
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Superhero Воотy Call... Origin:
My origin? I was bitten by a radioactive роrn star.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
Кларк Кент се нарекъл "Супермен", понеже "Чик Норис" било вече заето
Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp."
The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent."
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E.T.
Q: What's E.T. short for?
A: Because he has little legs.
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Q: How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist?
A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds.
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Q: What do The Force and duct tape have in common?
A: They both have a light side and a dark side, and they both hold the universe together.
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Didn't you like those old shows, like 'Tarzan'?
Remember 'Tarzan'? Story about a white guy who grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood?
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Tarzan affronte un énorme gorille. L'issu du combat es t une cuisante défaite pour Tarzan, qui a perdu un oeil, un bras et son zizi.
Lors d'un terrible combat contre un lion enragé, Tarzan perd un oeil, un bras et son pénis. Les animaux de la jungle le soignent et le ramènent à la vie. Ils lui greffent un oeil de faucon, un bras...
Tarzan havde engang mistet en arm et øje og sin penis. Derfor gik han til doktoren og spurgte hvad han skulle gøre. Så gav doktoren ham bare en abe arm et ørne øje og et elefant snabel. 2 uger...
Tarzan krijgt een ongeval en moet hierdoor een oog, een arm en zijn penis missen. Hij gaat ten rade bij een wonderdokter die hem eens goed bekijkt. "Kijk" zegt hij, "ik heb geen onderdelen van...
Chlap přijde k doktorovi: „Pane doktore, já mám hrozně krátkej penis, můžete mi s tím něco udělat?” „No nevím, jedině snad přioperovat chobot z mláděte slona.” Tak udělají. Za měsíc přijde chlap na...
Tarzan råkade ut för en olycka. Han miste ett öga, en arm och snoppen. Så han fick opererat in ett hököga, en aparm och till snopp en elefantsnabel. Vid en förfrågan en tid efter om hur det var,...
U doktora: ,,Pane doktore, já mám strašně krátký penis. Můžete s tím něco udělat?" ,,No, jedině, že bychom Vám tam přioperovali chobot od slůněte." ,,To by bylo skvělé!" Provedou operaci a za týden...
Tarzan is attacked by a lion in the jungle. The animal rips off Tarzan's arm, eye and реnis. His jungle friends help him by giving him the spare parts he needs - the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a d**k.
Later, Cheeta the Chimp asks Tarzan how his new parts are working out for him.
"Tarzan like. With new eye, can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But no like new wee-wee."
"Why's that?"
"It keep picking grass and shoving in Tarzan's аss."
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Tattooed Wang
$100 Bill Tattoo
Отива мутра в салон за татуировки и казва:
Geht ein Mann zum Tätowierer und sagt, er hätte gerne einen 500-Euro-Schein auf dem Schwanz tätowiert. Fragt der Tätowierer:
Мъж татуирал на кура си сто доларова банкнота. Питали го защо? А той:
Un conseil de banquier......Vous ne savez que faire de votre argent? Voici la solution : Faites vous tatouez un euro sur votre sexe et vous aurez le plaisir d'avoir 5 avantages 1) Vous verrez croître vos investisements 2) Vous prendrez plaisir à toucher votre pognon 3) Vous ne verrez plus d'un...
O sujeito foi fazer uma tatuagem e ordenou ao tatuador: — Quero que você tatue uma nota de 100 reais no meu pênis! — Você tá louco, cara? — perguntou o tatuador, perplexo — Isso aí vai doer pra cacete! Aliás, vai doer no cacete! — Não tem problema —...
Det var en kille som gick till tatueraren och bad att få en 100 kronors sedel tatuerad på det allra heligaste, men han tvekade och frågade varför. - Jo jag har tre skäl. För det första så gillar...
3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami. 1. You can play with your money. 2. You can watch your money grow. 3. Every woman loves to blow money.
Ein Mann kommt in ein Tattoo-Studio und möchte auf sein bestes Stück einen Tausender tätowiert haben. Dort ist man zwar an ungewöhnliche Wünsche gewöhnt, aber der Schrödinger ist neu, daher möchte...
Q: Why is it a good idea to tattoo a $100 bill on your реnis?
A: Have you ever known a women that wouldn't вlоw a hundred dollars?
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