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I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly suскеd again.

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Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. - Pluto

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The Little Rascal's class were having a spelling test. The teacher asks if anyone can use the word "admire" in a sentence. Spanky raises his hand and says,
"I admire my dog."
"Good job," the teacher replies,
"Now, who can use 'respect' in a sentence?" Alfalfa raises his hand and says,
"I respect Spanky for admiring his dog."
"Ok, " replies the teacher, "now who can use the word 'dictate' in a sentence?" There is silence in the class, then all of a sudden Buckwheat says,
"Darla how did my dictate !?!"

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Fe = Iron.
Male = Man.
Fe + Male = Iron Man.
I have been having sеx with Iron Man.

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Yo mama is so fат when Jabba's guard pushed her into the sarlacc pit, it choked to death.

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Yo mama so old, she knew 50 Cent when he was only a quarter.

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What is the dirtiest line said on television?
"Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Веаvеr last night."

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What did the Black Eyed Peas do at Wiz Khalifa's costume party?
They dressed up in black and yellow, black and yellow, and said,
"I'm a bee, I'm a bee, I'm a I'm a I'm a bee!"

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Yo momma is so fат Miley Cyrus uses her as a wreaking ball.

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Why did LaBron James skip college? Because he would never make it to the finals!

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Justin Bieber threw up on stage. I guess this proves that not even him can stand his music.

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Yo mama so nasty I told her to do the robot and now R2-D2 has сrавs!

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Why did Miley and Liam break up?
It just wasn't twerking.

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What is the difference between the American flag and American Idol?
The American flag actually has stars.

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Tiger Woods plays 18 holes. Both on and off the golf course.

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Whoever cast J-Lo in the movie "Anaconda" was a genius...
Cause everyone knows an Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun!

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It's a little unfair that Mike Vick is looked down upon for dog fighting, and The Mario Bros. are celebrated from taking mushrooms and turtle bashing.

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I hear OJ Simpson is working on a stand up act in jail, apparently he kills everytime.

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