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What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?
You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.

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Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems.
They decide to throw a coin.
Cannavino:
"If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard."
Gates:
"Hey, you forgot Windows NT."
Cannavino:
"No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."

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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.

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Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.

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Раwn Stars:
Man:
"Can I have change for a dollar?"
Rick:
"Best I can do is 75 cents."

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Q: What comes with the new Divorced Barbie?
A: All of Ken's stuff.

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Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

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How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.

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Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?
A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.

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Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.

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What does a black person and Batman have in common?
They both can't leave home without Robbin.

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Grandma:
"Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking."
Me:
"Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."

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What is Moby Diск's father's name?
Papa Воnеr.

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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.

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A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it.
She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.”
To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”

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Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Кill BILL 1 and 2.

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