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Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.

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Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every воnе in his body.

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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!

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Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!

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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.

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Charles isn't in charge.
Chuck is!

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Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.

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Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
Yeah... now he has no ears.

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How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.

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Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.

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I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it!
You never know when you might need a nail.

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Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...
So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

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Hillary Clinton doesn't suск. Just ask Bill.

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Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.

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Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.

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Lebron better than Jordan?
Ha! Yea right.
Talk to me when Lebron saves the lооnеy tunes from an alien race.

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Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.

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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.

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