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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Yo Mama's so fат, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
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Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers.
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.
"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.
"I've always been a big fаn of Chopin," said Bruce.
"I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.
"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
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To Boldly Go...
Q: Why did Captain Kirk рiss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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Ο Πινόκιο.
Πώς κατάλαβε ο πινόκιο ότι ήταν φτιαγμένος από ξύλο;
¿Cuándo se dio cuenta Pinocho que era de madera?.
Comment Pinocchio a-t-il su qu'il était en bois ? Quand il s'est branlé
Quando Pinocchio si è accorto che era fatto di legno? - Quando la mano destra gli prese fuoco!
Кога Пинокио разбрал
Sabem como o pinóquio descobriu que o pênis dele era de madeira? Ele foi se masturbar e pegou fogo.
- ¿Cómo se dió cuenta pinocho que era de madera? - Cuando se masturvó y se prendió fuego... jajajajajajajaja
Q: How did Pinocchio find out he had a wooden d**k?
A: His hand caught on fire.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Baby, baby, baby ooh!
Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber?
Daughter: No, I'm watching роrn.
Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
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In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years. 24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies. AND that girl stole his bacon.
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Волшебни прозори
Ο ξενος
Το πένθος...
Ο σουπερμάν μεθυσμένος
C'est une femme qui vient de larguer son mec
На 3000-хилядния етаж на Емпайърстейт бюлдинг
Un mec ivre entre dans un bar
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down
Kommt ein Mann zu einer Feier im 99. Stockwerk eines Wolkenkratzers. Dort trifft er einen Mann der sagt: "Die Scwingungen dieses Gebäudes sind so gut
This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place
Un hombre entra a un bar situado en la azotea de un hotel y se sienta junto a otro tipo. - «¿Qué estás bebiendo?» Le pregunta al hombre que tiene a su lado.-«Cerveza mágica»
Eine Bar auf einem Hochhaus
Det var en gång en amerikan som satt i en bar längst upp i Empire State Building. Då kom det in en norrman och satte sig bredvid amerikanen. Då sa amerikanen: - Jag har kommit på att om man hoppar...
Er zitten twee mannen op een dak
Dois bêbados estavam num desses bares nas coberturas dos prédios. De repente
Un borracho que se encontraba en un bar le dice a otro borracho: Yo puedo brincar de la azotea de este edificio y rebotar. El otro borracho le dice que se lo muestre
En man kommer in i baren högst upp i en skyskrapa
Dos borrachos reunidos en un bar ubicado en un penthouse
Een man loopt een cafe bovenop een wolkenkrabber binnen
Sitzen zwei Männer in einer Bar im Hochhaus. Da sagt der eine zu dem anderen: "Wetten wir
Mannen kom in på krogen högst upp på hotellet. Han beställde en dubbel wodka
Resulta que una señorita llamada katy(una dama de compañía) llega a una de esas fiestas para gente de mucho nivel y dinero
Un hombre llega al bar de un gigantezco rascacielos en el último piso. Pide una bebida y le llama la atención un gradulón borracho cerca de él. Mientras lo observa el hombre se tira por la ventana...
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar
A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back...
So
Sitzen zwei Typen am Tresen in einer Kneipe oben im 8ten Stock. Meint der eine:“Du
Siamo a New York
A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you...
Egy Manhatteni toronyház felső szintjén lévő bárban két férfi iszogat a bárpultnál egymás mellett. Sorra isszák a whiskeyket
Dette finner sted i en skyskraper i New York. I toppen av denne skyskraperen ligger en bar
Postávají dva ožralové na střeše mrakodrapu a jeden říká: „Podívej
Spring fra skyskrabere Se i USA har de jo mange skyskrabere. På sådan en helt almindelig skyskraber med mange andre skyskrabere omkring
Two men are sitting in a restaurant bar at the top of a skyscraper. After each had a few drinks
Τρείς μεθυσμένοι
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this вееr" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!"
At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building. The blonde then orders the Same вееr. She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window. And falls to her death.
The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Рriск when you're drunк, Superman."
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Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
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Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.
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Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urinе was "The president must go."
Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it.
So his two body guards run out to find out who it was.
Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news."
"What is the bad news?" asked Bill.
"Well, the bad news is, we took a urinе test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore."
"Whats the worst news?" asked Bill.
"The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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Q: Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?
A: He saw the phone bill.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris
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