Prison jokes, Prisoner Jokes

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After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

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Eight hours into his trial Раddy pleads guilty.
"Why didn't you plead guilty at the beginning and save the court's time?"
The judge demanded.
"Well," Раddy responded, "until I heard all the evidence I thought I was innocent."

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Q: Why are all black people fast?
A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there’s a small medium at large!

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How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German.

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I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself,… That’s a little condescending

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Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison.
The white guy actually did it.

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What’s the differencd between prison and concentration camps? At least you don’t die when you shower.

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I was walking by a prison when I saw a мidgет in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

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I saw a мidgет prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and i thought, huh, that’s a little соn-descending

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What is a prisoner’s favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.

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What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named brandon

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Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals, they are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit, they go in and the first man comes out with a peach, he is instructed to shove it in his аss and if he laughs he will be killed, he tries and dies, the second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same, when the two meet at the pearly gates the first man says, i had a peach, there fuzzy, you had a grape whats your excuse? "Well i was doing fine until I say jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple.

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I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.

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A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions …you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . "
The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind …as he emerged from the betting office with all his money… he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person…each and everytime.
He ,however couldn’t seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what .
When he died the Angel came back for him …
“But I’m undeserving I can’t come with you” he said …
“Yes you can” replied the Angel ,
“you gave all your stake ( steak) away”

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Whats a prisoners favorite game?
Hangman!

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