A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard.
A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they’re all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. “Well,” he says, “I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.”
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, “WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in Fellowship, feasting on God’s Holy Word, and praising Jesus.”
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV’s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, “You fellows don’t even know what trouble is until you try to circumcise a bear.”

George loves the race track.
One day he was there betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt when he noticed this Priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, this horse - a very long shot - won the race.
George was most interested to see what the Priest did the next race.
Sure enough, he watched the Priest step out onto the track as the 5th racehorses lined up and placed his blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.
George made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse.
Again, even though another long shot, the horse the Priest had blessed won the race.
George collected his winnings and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race.
The Priest showed, blessed a horse, George bet on it, and won!
George was elated.
As the day went on, the Priest continued blessing one of the horses, and it always came in first.
George began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true.
He made a quick stop at the ATM and withdrew every penny he owned, and awaited the Priest’s blessing that would tell him which horse to place the bet on.
True to his pattern, the Priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and anointed the forehead, eyes, ears and hooves of one of the horses.
George placed his bet every cent he owned - and watched the horse come in dead last.
George was dumbfounded. He made his way to the track, and when he found the Priest, he demanded, “What happened, Father? All day you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you bless a horse and he loses. Now I’ve lost my life savings, thanks to you!!”
The Priest nodded wisely and said, “That’s the problem with you
Protestants … you can’t tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites.