School Jokes

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My math teacher's joke she told us
So, in math class my teacher told us a joke that goes like this: knock knock who's there? interrupting starfish interrup-(places hand on other person's face) we laughed so hard at the teacher's reaction.

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So there's this classroom full of students in china...
... And this kid named meng was making fun of the teacher. The teacher walks up to him and yells; now listen you... All of a sudden the kid next to him says, but meng did it not me.

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So my math teacher asked me to do an initial value problem...
... And I said,
"Y Naught?"

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Question: Why is it so much fun to ride a train with a teacher?
Answer: He says spit out the gum and the train goes chew chew.

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Father: And, how do you like going to school?
Son: Well, the going bit is OK, the coming home bit is fine too, but the time in between kind of ruins it!

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What do teachers and clouds have in common?
Everything brightens up when they go away.

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Teacher:
"You got a zero in the last exam."
Roger:
"I don’t think I deserve a zero!"
Teacher:
"Neither do I. But I can’t go any lower than that."

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Teacher:
“I hope I won’t catch you copying from Clarissa!”
Paula:
“Oh, I hope so too!“

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Why did the teacher have to visit the eye specialist?
She just couldn't control her pupils!

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What is the single most popular subject at a snake school? Hisssstory.

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Teacher cracks down on Little Johnny:
“Come now, Johnny! Admit it. You had your parents help you with the homework, didn’t you?”
Little Johnny replies:
“Absolutely not. They did it all by themselves!“

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How does a school differ from an insane asylum?
Different phone numbers.

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Teacher:
"Patrick, you are an hour and a half late for school. What in the world?!"
Student:
"Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all my pets."
Teacher:
"An hour and a half?!"
Student:
"Well it is quite a big ant farm…"

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A teacher shows Little Johnny a butterfly and asks, “Well, Johnny, what do we call this butterfly?”
Little Johnny says, “That’s a peacock butterfly.”
“Come on, Johnny, peacock butterflies aren’t green!”
“Well maybe this one isn’t ripe yet?”

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Fiona asks her daddy, “Dad, can you write with your eyes closed?”
“I believe I could, child, if I tried.”
“Excellent, do you think you would like to try it on my school report?”

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Why are there so few schools in the jungles of eastern Africa?
Because there are too many cheetahs.

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At school:
Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here.
Teacher: How come?
Johnny: I ate my exercise books.
Teacher: What?! Why would you do such a thing?!
Johnny: The dog refused to.

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My teacher said I should walk a mile in his shoes so
I’d know how hard it is to be a teacher. Now I‘m a mile away and I still
Don’t have any idea what he’s talking about.

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