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Вицове за училището English Witze über die Schule Chistes sobre la escuela Анекдоты про Школу Blague sur l'école Barzellette sulla Scuola Ανέκδοτα για το σχολείο Вицеви за училиштето Okul fıkraları Анекдоти про Школу Piadas sobre a escola Żarty o szkole Skämt om skolan Grappen over school Vittigheder om skolen Vitser om skolen Kouluvitsit Iskolai viccek Glume despre şcoală Vtipy o škole Anekdotai apie mokyklą Joki par skolu Vicevi o školi
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School Jokes

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A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her without any warning.
The surprised girl said, “What was that?”
The guy smiled at her, “Direct marketing!”
The girl slapped him soundly.
“What was that?!” said the boy, holding his cheek.
“Customer feedback.”
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“Mommy, they told me at school that I have gigantic feet.”
“Let’s talk about this later. Now put your shoes in the garage and wash your hands, dinner is ready.”
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Клиент пие уиски в пияно бар и разговаря със сервитьора:
Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited:
“Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude’s house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!”
“No way!”
“Yes way,” insists Fred, “come with me and check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me.”
Twenty minutes later they’re ringing the doorbell at the place. A middle-aged lady opens and Fred eagerly asks her, “Hi! I’m sorry to bother you but there was a party at your house yesterday and my friend doesn’t believe that you have toilet bowls of pure gold!”
The lady looks at him for a moment and then yells into the inside of the house, “Roger, the pig that shiт in your trombone is here!”
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Сине стани!!! Late for School Το σχολείο мама будит вовочку: - вовочка Една обикновена сутрин: Σχολείο - Ставай за училище! "Ich will nicht in die Schule! " De manhã A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up Streitgespräch am Morgen: "Ich geh nicht in die Schule!" "Doch Mutter möchte den Sohn wecken: "Du Paulchen Hallo meine lieben Witzeschreiber und Witzeleser - Jeg vil ikke på skolen i dag Reggel van. Az anya kelti a fiát. - Fiam Un día le dice un hijo a su mamá..... Mamá no quiero ir a la escuela Reggel az anya ébreszti a gyerekét: - Kelj fel De Manhã
Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the sтuрid school.”
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”
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- вовочка Баща пита сина си: - Иванчо Kommt Fritzchen am letzten Schultag nach Hause. Fragt der Vater: Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." "Warum hast du kein Zeugnis?" Joãozinho chega em casa e diz ao seu pai: — Pai Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." Assim que Joãozinho chega da escola - Gdzie masz świadectwo? - pyta ojciec Jasia. - Pożyczyłem koledze Mutter: "Wo ist dein Zeugnis?" Fritzchen: "Das hab ich einem Freund geborgt. Der will damit seinen Vater erschrecken." Dad: "Can I see your report card Mamma til Per: - Hvor er karakterboka di? - Ole låner den. - Hvorfor det? - For å skremme foreldrene sine. Le père de David s'étonne de ne pas avoir encore reçu le bulletin scolaire de son fils et lui en demande la raison : - Et ton bulletin il est pas encore arrivé? - Si
Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school report, my boy?
Tom: Sorry, I’ll bring it a day later.
Dad: Why?
Tom: I borrowed it to Kevin because he wanted to scare his parents.
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Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!”
Paul to teacher: “I could actually, it’s just that you’re a bit loud.”
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Pepito le pregunta a su maestra: Maestra - Jaimito
Teacher asks the student: “Why are you so late?!”
Student: “Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says: 'School ahead, go slowly'!”
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Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."
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“So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it mom. You’ll see it later on the news, anyways.”
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Teacher tells little Johnny off, “You know very well you can’t sleep in my class, Johnny.”
Johnny admits, “Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you didn’t speak quite so loud, I could.”
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Разказва мъж в селската кръчма Недавно гостил у дочери. Скоро бях на гости на щерката. Когато и поисках вестник Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper. Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..." Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach. Husband faints. Moral: Whatever the wife asks Jag bad min son om att få tidningen. Han sa att jag måste hänga med i utvecklingen och gav mig sin iPad istället. Inte riktigt vad jag hade tänkt mig
I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school.
She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad. The fly didn’t stand a chance.
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mom: What did you learn at school today?
me: Obviously not enough. i have to go back tomorrow
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"Haha, you failed!"
"Yeah, so did your dad's соndом."
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Nerds phone rings in class.
Cool Guy - Awww, was that your mommy?
Whole class laughs
Nerd Guy - Nope, it was yours.
Whole class is silent ....
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Mum: Why!
Me: Well the teacher pointed the ruler at me and said "at the end of this ruler is a idiот".
Mum: Yeah so
Me: I asked what end.
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Teacher: Where the hеll is your math homework?!
Me: it committed suicide, had too many problems.
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Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
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Mom: Go clean your room!
Me: But its MY room.
Mom: And this is MY house.
Me: Then you go clean it.
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