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Вицове за училището English Witze über die Schule Chistes sobre la escuela Анекдоты про Школу Blague sur l'école Barzellette sulla Scuola Ανέκδοτα για το σχολείο Вицеви за училиштето Okul fıkraları Анекдоти про Школу Piadas sobre a escola Żarty o szkole Skämt om skolan Grappen over school Vittigheder om skolen Vitser om skolen Kouluvitsit Iskolai viccek Glume despre şcoală Vtipy o škole Anekdotai apie mokyklą Joki par skolu Vicevi o školi
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School Jokes

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Mum: Why!
Me: Well the teacher pointed the ruler at me and said "at the end of this ruler is a idiот".
Mum: Yeah so
Me: I asked what end.
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Teacher: Where the hеll is your math homework?!
Me: it committed suicide, had too many problems.
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Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
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Say addicted after everything I say.
drugs.
"addicted"
alcohol.
"addicted"
What hit you in the face last night?
"A diск did"
hahahaha
"f**k you"
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Wie lange Arbeitet ein Lehrer im Jahr? Што вели шефот кога му бараш покачување? - Квоооооо? Искате повишение на заплатата? Ебаси
Teacher: Why did you not study?
Student: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.
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Me: "Dude, I got my first kiss!"
Friend: "Your mom doesnt count."
me: "Ya, but yours does."
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Fат person: Im not fат, being overweight just runs in my family.
Me: Вiтсh please, If ANYONE ran in your family you wouldnt have this problem
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Boy:
But ваве, I'm not ready to meet your family yet
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"dude that song is so old."
"i'm sorry, i didn't know music had an expiration date. what about your mom, she's old, but you still listen to her."
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me: вiтсh please, i could wipe ur beauty off with a tissue.
girl: go ahead then
me: get me one from ur bra
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Dоuсhе: My diск comes with a choking hazard warning.
Girl: Don't they only put that on small objects?
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Dad: Can you go get me a drink?
Kid: Cola or Pepsi?
Dad: Cola.
Kid: Normal or dietary?
Dad: Normal.
Kid: Bottle or Can?
Dad: Bottle! /:
Kid: 1L or 0.5L?
Dad: Sсrеw it, just buy me a water!
Kid: Normal or carbonated?
Dad: NORMAL!
Kid: Warm or cold?
Dad: Get out! Kid: Now or later?
Dad: I'm going to кill you !
Kid: Knife or gun?
Dad: Gun!
Kid: In the head or body?
Dad: EFF THIS!
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Keep rolling your eyes. Who knows, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
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Ψέμα ήτανε Une maîtresse demande à ses élèves: Учителката ги прашува учениците; Im Grammatikunterricht versucht die Lehrerin den Schülern durch Beispiele die Zeiten zu erläutern. Lehrerin: "Wenn ich sage ich bin schön La maestra le dice a los alumnos An old teacher asked her student A professora explica os tempos verbais: - Se eu digo "Eu fui bonita" Jantje zit in de klas en zit te dromen. Hij kijkt naar buiten en opeens valt hij in slaap Teacher says to class Учителька: — Послухай Okulda birgün Türkçe öğretmeni zaman kiplerini işliyor ve öğrencilerine bir soru soruyor : - Çocuklar -ben güzelim- dersem hangi zamana girer bu cümlem? Çocuklar hep bir ağızdan : - Geçmiş zaman... Une grand-mère demande à sa petite fille : - Quand je dis : "Je suis belle" - Jasiu
Teacher: I am beautiful. What tense is this?
Me: Past tense obviously.
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Teacher: Can you explain why you failed the test?
Me: Can you explain me why you fail to educate?
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You remind me of a penny, two faced and f*cking worthless!
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How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later the idiот is still in your driveway trying to back out.
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Ennie meanie miney mo,
you're nothing but a hое,
you think your cute, you think your classy,
reality check your just тrаshy.
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