A professor at W.Virginia University is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take
this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their hands. "That's a great response."
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
3 students raise their hands. "That's fantastic."
"But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
One student in a flannel shirt and baseball cap way in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student complies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium.
The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sеx with a ghost."
The student replies, "Ghost?!? Sheeyit..... From back there it sounded like you said 'goats'".
Little Johnny likes to gamble.
One day, his dad gets a new job, so his family has to move to a new city.
Johnny's dad thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling."
He calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow, but he likes to gamble, so you'll have to keep an eye on him."
The teacher says, "Okay," because she can handle it.
The next day, Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny."
She says, "Yes, I know who you are."
Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you $10 you've got a mole on your вuтт."
The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem, so she takes him up on the bet.
She pulls her pants down, shows him her вuтт, and there is no mole.
That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost $10 to the teacher and explains why.
His dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your вuтт and he lost."
The teacher says, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem."
Johnny's dad laughs and says, "No you didn't, he bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your аss before the day was over."