It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers."
"That's right," the boy said, but how did you know "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!" SURPRISE!
A man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the соndом display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man, matter-of-factly, replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sеx."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, "Why are there three in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers. "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
At my 40th high school reunion a friend asked me, ‘Why didn’t we have a drug problem when we were growing up?’ …
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I replied that I had a drug problem when I was young: …
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I was drug to church on Sunday morning. …
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I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. ….
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I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. ….
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I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the pastor.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.
I was drug out to pull weeds in mom or grandma’s garden and flower beds.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than сосаinе, сrаск, or hеrоin, and if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, the USA would be a better place.
God bless the parents who drugged us.