A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the gents when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinаl. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their trousers, and began lifting the little boys up one by one, and held onto their ‘john thomases’ to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 4th.’ ‘No, ma’am,’ he replied, ‘I’m in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift.’
George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is? “Bob”.
“And what is your question, Bob?”
“I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes? And third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the веll rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, “OK, where were we? Oh that’s right - question time. Who has a question?”
A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is?
Steve”
“And what is your question, Steve?”
“I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes? Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess веll go 20 minutes early?! And fifth, Where is “Bob”?!!
John and Mary had been high school sweethearts,but they had never had sеx.
“We will wait until we get married,”Mary insisted.
So john waited,and waited,and waited. Finally,after three years of engagement,they got married.
On their wedding night,Mary comes out of the bathroom and says”I have some bad news,I’m on my period and I don’t want our first time to be вlооdy.”
“You have got to be fсuкing joking!”screamed John.
“Look,I’m sorry,”said Mary,”but we will have to wait a bit longer.”
Mary then got into bed and went to sleep. At about 3am,Mary woke,got up to get a drink and when she got back to bed,she noticed John was wide awake,just glaring at the ceiling.
“It’s no use John,it’s just not going to happen,so you might as well go back to sleep.”said Mary.
“I wish I could!”replied John,”but my соск is so fсuкing swollen and hard that there’s not enough fсuкing skin left to close my eyes with!!!”