School Jokes

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John and Mary had been high school sweethearts,but they had never had sеx.
“We will wait until we get married,”Mary insisted.
So john waited,and waited,and waited. Finally,after three years of engagement,they got married.
On their wedding night,Mary comes out of the bathroom and says”I have some bad news,I’m on my period and I don’t want our first time to be вlооdy.”
“You have got to be fсuкing joking!”screamed John.
“Look,I’m sorry,”said Mary,”but we will have to wait a bit longer.”
Mary then got into bed and went to sleep. At about 3am,Mary woke,got up to get a drink and when she got back to bed,she noticed John was wide awake,just glaring at the ceiling.
“It’s no use John,it’s just not going to happen,so you might as well go back to sleep.”said Mary.
“I wish I could!”replied John,”but my соск is so fсuкing swollen and hard that there’s not enough fсuкing skin left to close my eyes with!!!”
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There's a French guy, an Italian guy, an Brit gentleman and a Croatian guy.
The French guy flies to Paris. On his way, he drops a croissant.
Then at Paris airport he sees a kid crying. He asks
"Why are you crying?"
The kid replies "Someone dropped a croisssant on my head!"
Next the Italian guy flies to Rome. On the way down he drops a pizza.
At Roma airport he sees a kid crying.
He asks "Why are you crying?" The kid replies
"Someone dropped a pizza on my head!"
Then the Brit guy flies to London.
On the way he drops a plate of fish and сhiрs.
Then at London Heathrow airport he sees a kid crying.
He asks "Why are you crying?"
The boy replies "Someone dropped a plate of fish and сhiрs on my head!"
Finally the Croatian guy flies to Zagreb.
On the way he drops a bomb
In town he sees a kid laughing, next to a destroyed school.
The guy asks"Why are you laughing?"
The kid replies " I farted and the whole school exploded!
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Difference between Indian Movies and American
Movie :
-
American movies :
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than
Teaching or practice Kung Fu.
2. More than 50% of U. S. population are FBI/
CIA agents, working undercover.
3. The purpose of school system of U. S. is to
Promote basketball.
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U. S.
5. U. S. is a place where you can meet all
Mythical creatures like were wolves and vampires.
.
.
Indian movies :
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.
2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry,
Whichever wire you cut u'll always choose the
Right".
3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten
Up,
But will show pain when a girl cleans up his
Wound.
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is
Suspended from duty.
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street,
Everyone you meet will know the steps.
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