Don’t eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! !
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that
They both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through
The fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich
Wasn’t a turkey sandwich.
He said, ‘Hey, how come you’re not eating turkey, don’t you like it anymore?’
She said ‘I love it but I have to stop eating it.’
‘Why?’ he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said ‘Cause I’m starting to grow little
Feathers down there!’
‘Let me see’ he said.
‘Okay’ and she showed him. He looked and said, ‘That’s right. You are! Better
Not eat any more turkey.’
He kept eating his turkey sandwiches until one day he brought a peanut
Butter sandwich instead. He said to the little girl, ‘I have to stop eating turkey
Sandwiches, I’m starting to get feathers down there too!’ She asked if she
Could look, so he showed her!
She said, ‘Oh, my God, it’s too late for you!
You’ve already got the NECK and Giblets!!
Gun control
Barack Obama was at a rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, and asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, ‘Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.’
Then, little Richard Earl , with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said:
“Well, dumb-аss, stop clapping!”
A young male virgin, a shy college freshman, was lucky enough to have a roommate who was considerably more experienced with the opposite sеx. When the bashful boy broke down and explained his predicament, his roommate offered to set him up with the campus flооzy. “Just take her out to dinner and a show, and then let nature take its course,” he explained. “This girl really knows how to go from there.” The roommate arranged the date as promised, and the freshman took the coed out for a delightful evening of dining and dancing. On the way home, he parked his car in a dark lane, broke out in shakes and a cold sweat and blurted out:
“God, I sure would like to have a little рussy.”
“I would, too,” the girl sighed. “Mine’s the size of a bucket!”
There was 2 friends that go to their high school reunion.
They got there early so they went to the bar to watch a game. eventually, one of the guys gets drunк, so the other guy walks the drunк to the reunion, they sit down. half an hour later, the hosts of the reunion do this little game, where they say something and see who has done that something. the host says:
Host:
' okay now, whos won been on TV?'
The drunк guy's friend says "this guy over here!!!"
The drunк tells him to shut up but the host is already talking.
Host:
'ohh look everybody we have a celebrity!!! c'mon up here!'
So the drunк makes his way up on the stage.
Drunk:
' hi, ever-eeverybody ma names gabriel, and i don-dont wanna say much, i've been dri-nking a bit-'
At that point, the drunк notices two girls at a table and recognizes them.
Drunk:
' i- i see twoo girls at a table,i asked them out to prom of se-senior year. AND D-DEY SED NOO!! and dey got f-fат'
One of the girls gets up and yells at the drunk
Girl:
'Your fат too!!!'
Drunk:
'i was fат in high scho-ool, i kept my figure, why couldnt you???'
#rekt