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Вицове за секс, 18+ English Sexwitze, Sex-Witze, 18 +, Org... Chistes y anécdotas Sexo, 18 +... Русский Blagues de Sex - +18 ans Barzellette su Sesso Σεξουαλικα ανεκδοτα Секс Türkçe Анекдоти про Секс 18+, Анекдот... Português Dowcipy i kawały: Seks 18+ Svenska Seks moppen 18+, Moppen over l... Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szex viccek Româna Anekdoty a vtipy o sexu a milo... Lietuvių Anekdotes par seksu Seks, Seksi vicevi, Sex
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A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
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A man and his girlfriend are having a sеxuаl encounter.
He asks her to "go downtown", so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his gеniтаls, looking and tipping her head this way and that, studying the whole business.
After about five minutes of this, he asked her in a sort of peeved voice, "Well, just what are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm doing what I always do when I'm downtown with no money -- just looking."
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Knock-Knock
Who is there?
A long реnis with a nакеd head.
Come in please we were waiting for you.
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„Жените имат нужда от причина
Women need a reason to have sеx - men just need a place.
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F*uck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sеx?
Because he never fuскs up.
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Мъж попаднал на пустинен остров със Синди Крауфорд. Отначало тя се опитала да запази дистанция
A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island.
After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford.
They build a lean-to and find some food and water.
After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate.
The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree.
"What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?"
"Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?"
"A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it.
"Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?"
"Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right."
"Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fuскing!"
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Бай Ганьо Um cara compra dois presentes de Natal para suas esposa. A mulher abre o primeiro presente: No velho bar de sempre There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student
Got my wife a dildо and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuск herself.
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Little Johnny: "Dad why your diск's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are going to be white?"
Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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- Миме
You are so selfish!
You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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John comes home and notices his wife nакеd in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed.
The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will рее on your brand-new carpet."
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Warning ladies!
Never trust a man who calls you "SЕXУ".
This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SЕX". After sеx, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
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On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her аss to a grave.
When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your аss is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
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Q: What does a gаy order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
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Hey, you wanna do a 68?
You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
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A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband.
"Don't you love him anymore?" asked the lawyer.
"Oh, I still love him," she replied, "but all he ever wants is make love, I can't take it anymore."
"Instead of divorcing him, why don't you try charging him every time he wants to make love?" the lawyer suggested.
The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try.
As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the move on her.
"Not so fast," she replied. "From now on it'll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom."
"Well, then," he said. "Here's $50."
The wife began walking to the bedroom.
"Hold on," he said, grabbing her hand. "That'll be five times in the kitchen!"
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Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle."
Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible."
Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's соndом!"
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