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Вицове за секс, 18+ English Sexwitze, Sex-Witze, 18 +, Org... Chistes y anécdotas Sexo, 18 +... Русский Blagues de Sex - +18 ans Barzellette su Sesso Σεξουαλικα ανεκδοτα Секс Türkçe Анекдоти про Секс 18+, Анекдот... Português Dowcipy i kawały: Seks 18+ Svenska Seks moppen 18+, Moppen over l... Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szex viccek Româna Anekdoty a vtipy o sexu a milo... Lietuvių Anekdotes par seksu Seks, Seksi vicevi, Sex
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When Chuck Norris has sеx he calls out his own name.
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Sеx Facts
1. The point at which the average men reaches his sеxuаl peak is between the ages of 17 and 18.
2. When it comes to online роrn, men are 6 times more likely than women to seek it out.
3. Time needed for a men to regain an еrестiоn from 2 minutes to 2 weeks.
4. Рuвiс hair is programmed to grow a certain amount.
5. People who have sеx once or twice a week have there inmune system boosted slightly.
6. Research shows that a man knows they're falling in love after 3 dates, but women don't fall in love until date 14.
7. Some professionals consider маsтurватiоn a cardiovascular workout.
8. There are 4,2 million роrn websites around the world.
9. Couples who don't have a tv in their bedroom have 50% more sеx.
10. Aphallatosis is a mental disorder resulting from a lack of sеx life.
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Ο βάτραχος με το κόκκινο κεφάλι Ήταν κάποτε ένα τύπος που την είχε (την γνωστή) 50 εκ. Kommt ein Mann zum Arzt Es war einmal ein mann der hatte ein 50 cm langen schwanz und der war ihm zu lang. Er rannte in einem Wald hinein und traf eine Fee und er erzählte ihr das Problem. Die Fee sagte: "Wenn du 100m weiter gehst triffst du einen Frosch und du fragst willst du mich heiraten A guy goes to see the doctor Un homme souffre d'avoir un gros zizi. En effet Det var en gång en kille med en snopp som var 50cm. Han undrade hur han skulle göra den mindre så han gick till en klok man som sa: - Gå till grodan i skogen och säg att du vill gifta dig med... Pewien facet miał 50-centymetrowy interes. Stwierdził Un uomo aveva grossi problemi ad entrare in intimità con le donne perchè aveva il pene lungo 50 cm. Nella disperazione un giorno quest'uomo si rivolge a una maga Sejdou se dva chlapi na záchodě u mušlí. První se závistivě dívá na toho druhého. Ten druhý se ho zeptá: „Chceš mít taky tak velkýho ptáka?” První přikývne. „Tak běž za město k prvnímu dubu u cesty... Un Africain est très embêté par les 50 cm que mesure son sexe. Quand il court pour chasser Een man met een penis van 40 cm gaat naar de dokter en doet zijn beklag: 'Dokter Luca e’ afflitto da un problema: un pisello di 60 cm. Cio’ gli impedisce di avere regolari rapporti con le ragazze. Gira il mondo ma nessun dottore e’ in grado di risolvere il problema. Un giorno... Un tip avea scula de 50 de centrimetrii si nu gasea si el o femeie compatibila sexual. Intr-o zi se duce la o vrajitoare sa ii dea ceva sa se micsoreze. Vrajitoarea ii spune sa ceara in casatorie o... Manden og frøen Der var engang en mand Herifin biri doktora gitmis Ein Mann hat einen 50 cm langen Penis! Seine Frau meint C'est un gars qui a un pénis de 50 cm Um certo homem tinha um pênis de 48cm. Numa noite ele foi num pai de santo para ver se ele tinha algum coselho para lhe dar. Ele contou sua história para o pai de santo: meu amigo meu pênis é de... Havia um homem com um problema um pouco diferente. O bitelo dele tinha 54 cm. Era só ele sair com um uma mulher Um cara tinha 70cm de penis. Ele era super afim de uma moça Um carafoi ao médic. Chegando lá ele diz ao doutor: — Médico eu tenho um problema grave Turėjo Ivanas labai didelį pasididžiavimą
There's a guy with a 25-inch реnis and is always wanting to get closer to the girls he is having sеx with. One day he comes upon a witch and he tells her about his problem. She tells him about a frog who can make his реnis smaller. All he had to do is make the frog say no and his реnis would shrink 5-inches. So he goes to find the frog and ask the frog to marry him. The frog says no and hes down to 20-inches. He decides he wants to be closer so he ask the frog to marry him again, and again the frog said no and another 5-inches are gone. He decides he wants to be even closer so he ask the frog one more time to marry him. The frog said,
"How many times do I have to tell you? No, no, no, no, no."
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Why don't guys like to preform оrаl sеx on a woman the morning after sеx?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
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Skip the dамn apology аsshоlе... I'm not takin you back... But we can still have makeup sеx, without the makeup!
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Michael Jackson is walking out from the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son. Michael says "Hey Doc how long till we can have sеx?" The Doctor says "At least wait till he is walking Michael!!"
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Sеx is good, sеx is fine
Doggy style, or Sixty-nine
Just for fun, or getting paid
Everyone loves getting laid
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Three people get arrested and are taken into holding for questioning. The officer talks to the first girl, asking, "What's your name?" She says,
"Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go. He asks the second girl, "What's your name?" She responds with, "Yo Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go. He talks to the guy and says,
"Let me guess, your name is Yo Yo Yo." The guy replies with, "No, it's Bubbles."
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A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viаgrа. The mom asks, "Why on Earth do you need that?!" The little boy says,
"Isn't that what you give daddy when his sh*t doesn't get hard?"
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They say that during sеx you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hеll runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
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Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight . When Grandpa found a bottle of Viаgrа in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said,
"I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow. " Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said,
"I told you each pill was $10, not $110. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"
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A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fuскs all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fuскing the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You hоrny ваsтаrd, you deserve this." The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"
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A kid walks up to his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go bungee jumping?" The mom says "No, you were born from broken rubber and I don't want you to go out the same way!"
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I wish my new girlfriend and I could try some different sеx positions.
But the last time I untied her, she almost got away.
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A man and woman were having sеx. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies,
"Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
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A man goes to his doctor complaining about migraines. His doctor tells him, "I also suffer from the same ailment. Every time I get one, I give my wife оrаl sеx. When she has an оrgаsм, she tightens her legs around my head which gets rid of the pain. You should try it sometime." Two weeks later on a return visit, the patient tells his doctor, "Your suggestion worked and I'd like to tell you that you have a very nice house."
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Two guys are standing in line to enter heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died. "I froze to death. How about you?"
"I had a heart attack."
"How did that happen?"
"Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So after work I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack."
"That's ironic."
"Why?"
"If you would've looked in the fridge, we'd both be alive."
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Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. - Pluto
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