Sports Jokes

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There are three men in ahotel each wanting a room.
The porter of the hotel says, "All the rooms are booked except for one room with a king size bed."
The three men are too tired to go to another hotel so they decide to take the room. The next morning, the three men wake up and the man on the left side of the bed said,
"Wow, I had vivid dream of getting a wonderous hand job."
The man on the right said,
"Yeah, me too."
The man in the middle said, "You two are disgusting, I had an ordinary dream that I went Skiing."

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American Olympian Picabo Street donated a large sum to her hometown hospital's emergency center.
Her town named the center after her: Picabo ICU.

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Stress:
The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living s**t out of some a**hole who desperately deserves it.

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In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's реnis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sеx.
After $250,000.00, and three years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sеx.

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On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fаn?"
Every student knew that she loved the Mets, so they replied bye raising their hands, except for one girl, Rosie.
The teacher asked, "Who do you like, little girl?" Rosie replied, "I'm a Yankees fаn and I hate the Mets."
The teacher asked why and Rosie told her that her parents were Yankees fans, so she was too. The teacher said to the class, "So if Rosie's parents were idiots, what would that make her?"
Rosie chimed in, "A Mets fаn!!!"

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Ron Hextal, the Flyer's goalie, was so upset about losing the Stanley Cup that he decided to commit suicide, so he jumped out in front of a bus.
It went through his legs.

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What does Brooke Gordon do when she gets done shaving her рussy on a Sunday morning?
Slaps aftershave on it and throws it in a racecar.

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead have a breaststroke race across the English Channel. The brunette comes in first, the redhead comes in second, and the blonde never finishes. In the lifeboat, the blonde says, "I don't want to be a tattletale, but the other two used their arms."

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Swimmimg...it's not a sport...
Swimmimg...it's not a sport, it's a way to keep from drowning.

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Jоск Воотy Call... Tackle:
I'd like to try a back tackle on you. High five!

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Q: What did the right ball say to the left ball?
A: The guy in the middle is a real diск.

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A biker had been injured in an accident and was hospitalized. Several nurses each had the opportunity to give him a sponge bath and were commenting on his gеniтаls. They all had noticed a tattoo of the word ''Little.
" So they drew straws to see who would find out what the whole tattoo said. The nurse with the shortest straw went into the guy's room while the others waited in the hall. Suddenly, they heard a commotion, then moans of passion and a piercing scream. Finally, she came out of the room with her skirt up around her waist, her раnтiеs around one ankle and a contented smile on her face. The others ask her what she found out.
"It says 'Little Rock Arkansas, Big Diск Champion, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997 and 1998!'''

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Q: Why did the coach give his football team lighters?
A: They kept losing their matches.

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Q: What has teeth but no mouth?
A: A comb.

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Q: Why couldn't Texas A&M put on a nativity scene?
A: Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

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Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it does to run from first base to second base?
A: There's a shortstop between second base and third base.

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Three diскs are talking about what their owners are like.
Two of the diскs say their owners are really nice and like to rub them and pat them. The third diск says that his owner is really mean. The two other diскs ask him why, and he explains, Well, every night my owner puts a raincoat on me, sticks me in a deep dark hole and makes me do pushups untill I throw up.

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Three guys walk into a motel and find out there is only one room with only one bed. Since it's the only motel in town, the guys decide to share the bed. They get to their room, squeeze in, and fall asleep.
The next morning, the guy on the left side of the bed wakes up and says, "I had the craziest dream about getting the best hаndjов of my life."
The guy on the right side says, "That's incredible - I had the same dream!"
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "Wow, I had the weirdest dream!" The other two guys nod their heads in anticipation.
"I was cross-country skiing really, really fast..."

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