Steve Davis, the world champion snooker player, got married and it was the first night of his honeymoon. His beautiful wife lay spread across the bed wearing only a scanty silken black nightdress.
Presently Steve came out of the bathroom totally nакеd with a long stiff еrестiоn and walked slowly to the foot of the bed. He didn’t utter a sound but simply stood there looking at her and chalking the end of his еrест реnis.
This went on for over ten minutes, the only movement being the slow rhythmic chalking of the tip of his реnis and the movement of his head from side to side as he stared at her lying on the bed. Eventually, moist with excitement and shaking with anticipation she tore off her night dress and slowly spread her legs wide open waiting for him to take her.
Steve simply raised his eyebrows, cocked his head to the side and continued to slowly sтrоке the soft chalk across the glistening, throbbing реnis as he stared intensely at the pleasures he saw between her outspread legs. It was too much for her to stand, writhing in an agony of expectation and frustration she screamed out, “For God’s sake what are you waiting for?”
Steve gently stroked the chalk across his throbbing реnis, blew the loose chalk off its end, smiled and looking even more closely between her smooth thighs quietly told her, “I’m trying to decide whether to go for the tight brown or the easy pink.”
The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football. He is suitably impressed and arranges for the player to come over.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 2-0 down to Newcastle with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod, and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation. He scores 3 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool . The fans are delighted, the players and the coach are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
‘Hello mum, guess what?’ he says ‘I played for 20 minutes today, we were 2 - 0 down but I scored 3, they call it a hat-trick, and we won.
Everybody loves me, the fans, the press, they all love me.’ ‘Just wonderful,’ says his mum, ‘Let me tell you about my day …
Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and assaulted, she would have been rареd but for a passing police vehicle.
Your brother has joined a local gang of looters and set fire to some buildings and all while you tell me that you were having a great time!!’
The young lad is very upset. ‘What can I say mum, but I’m really sorry.’
Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!’ says his mum. ‘It’s your вlооdy fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!’