Walks into a Bar, Bar jokes, Bartender jokes
Two strings go into a bar and ask for a drink each. The Bartender says,
"I'm sorry, we don't let strings drink here." The two strings leave and go into another bar and ask for a drink each. The Bartender of this bar says,
"I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to let strings drink." One of the strings gives up. The other bashes himself into walls, winds himself up, and rubs against the carpet. When the string goes into the bar, he asks for a drink. The Bartender says,
"Sure! By the way, you haven't seen a couple of strings walking around, have you?" The string replies,
"Sorry! I'm afraid not!" (A frayed knot)
Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar.
“Bartender,” he says, “give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.”
When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her side.
“That was very kind of you,” she says. “Won’t you sit down?”
After a few minutes of small talk, she says, “Let me be honest with you. You’re a very nice man, but I don’t think you realize that I’m a professional. I’d be delighted to go upstairs with you for a hundred dollars. Now, if that’s not what you had in mind, I certainly understand, and I’ll say good-bye now, no hard feelings.”
“I’m surprised,” says Berkowitz. “But you’re a beautiful lady, and I like you, too. I’ve never done something like this before, but sure, let’s go upstairs.”
When they get to Berkowitz’s room, he says, “I was wondering. There’s something about you that makes me think you might be Jewish.”
“Well, I am,” she replies a little defensively. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, I’m Jewish, too,” says Berkowitz. “And since we’re both Jewish, I was hoping you would give me a discount.”
“Dаммiт,” she replies, “I was afraid this would happen. Okay, twenty percent off. But I want you to know, at these prices I’m not making any profit!”
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