Bear Hunting.
Don was so excited to be going bear hunting.
He spotted a small Brown Bear in the woods and shot it.
Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see a big Black Bear.
The Black Bear said, Don, you’ve got two choices, either I maul you to death or we have sеx. Don decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks Don soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it.
There was another tap on his shoulder.
This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing right next to him.
The Grizzly said, That was a huge mistake Don.
You’ve got two choices.
Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sеx.
Again, Don thought it was better to comply.
Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered.
Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot it.
He felt the sweet taste of revenge. But then there was a tap on his shoulder.
Don turned round to find a giant Polar Bear standing there.
The Polar Bear said, “Frickin’ Неll Don, admit it, you don’t really come here for the Hunting, do you..?
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and “in heat’, agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog while the neighbor’s were on vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, “Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his еrестiоn and he will be able to withdraw..”
“Do you think that will work?” she asked.
“Just worked on me,” he replied.
The pet store was selling three parrots. A man who wants to buy a parrot approaches the clerk and asks, “How much are your parrots?”
The sales clerk answers, “The first one is $1,000.”
“What does he know?”
“He knows 10,000 words and 500 sentences and can solve mathematical expressions.”
“How about the second one?”
“The second parrot costs $5,000.”
“What does he know?”
“He knows 100,000 words and 10,000 sentences, can solve mathematical expressions, and create computer programs.”
“Then what is the price for the third one?” asked the buyer.
“This one costs $20,000.”
“Really?! What does he know?”
“This one knows absolutely nothing, but the two others always call him 'BOSS’."