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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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I lost a valuable Indian Head penny in my yard the other day. Good thing I have my pet bloodhound Barney. I let him outside to try to find it, and good ol' Barney picked up the cent right away!
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What kind of animal hates to do it's laundry the most?
A Leopard because it has so many spots.
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Q. Why do Pandas have black eyes?
A. Because they can’t satisfy their man.
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I have a pet who is a continual source of personal annoyance and irritation. Truth be told, he really bothers the heck out of me.
I named my pet, "Peeve."
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Apparently the worlds laziest fish was discovered last week, it only swims 1 inch per day. The fish lives in the Black Sea, no surprise there!
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Apart from Humans, the only animal that enjoys having sеx is a Dolphin…….
I had to shаg a lot of animals to find that out.
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Michael and Timothy had just left the Pub and decided to take a shortcut through O'Leary's farm when they chanced upon O'Leary's prized stallion. Promptly, Timothy raised it's tail, took a quick swipe then applied it to his lips.
Michael, dumbfounded, asked:
"Is horse manure good for chapped lips?"
Timothy replied:
"I don't know, but it sure keeps me from lickin' em!"
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A man who worked in a cruise liner as a magician had a parrot and every time the man did a trick the parrot yelled, “it’s in the pocket,”
“it’s in the pocket,” the magician would do another trick and the parrot yelled, “it’s in the hat”, “it’s in the hat.”
One day during his act the cruise liner had a problem and the ship sunk. The parrot came up from the water and looking confused said; “NOW WHERE DID HE HIDE THE SHIP.”
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One caterpillar to another, as they watch a butterfly:
"You'll never get me up in one of those things."
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An old man always had his dog chained up, and one day he decided to take the dog out hunting with him. Since the dog has been chained up for so long it ran for a chance at freedom. The man ran after the dog hoping to catch it. The dog ran over a cliff. The man said,
"Dog gone it."
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I’m not saying the spider I found in my room last night was big, but it was a case of either stamp on the ваsтаrd or start charging it rent.
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Two monkeys were discussing evolution:
"You mean to tell me that I really am my keeper's brother?"
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Did u know doves die after sеx. Well the one I f*cked did.
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MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very intelligent.
Mittens, if you’re reading this, please come home.
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I think bees teach us an important lesson.
You may be small. You may be tiny. But when you’re chasing somebody with a sharp object… people still run away from you.
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There was a monkey sitting in a banana tree. He was very hungry. He knew that somewhere in the tree there was a magic banana, and that once he ate that banana, he wouldn't be hungry anymore.
He ate one banana. That wasn't it. He was still hungry. He ate another banana. That wasn't it either. He was still hungry.
Finally, after he ate his tenth banana, he wasn't hungry anymore. "I knew I'd find it," he said. "It's too bad that I didn't eat that one first. I wouldn't have to waste all those other bananas."
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A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo.
The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high.
Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night."
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A snail was robbed by 2 turtles.
The cop asked if he could describe the assailants.
The snail replied, “It all happened so fast.”
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