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Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi...
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What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.
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How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
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What's a moo hoo for a соw barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
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What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
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Why are rabbits never gold?
How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
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Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
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What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay.
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Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’
Boy: ‘I’m not.
I’m just holding it.
It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
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What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.
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How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
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What do you call an affectionate rabbit?
A tender, loving hare.
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Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.
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Did you hear about the snobby соw?
She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
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Mama bear to Papa bear:
"Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead.
Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.
The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog.
The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.
"There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead".
Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion.
The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat.
The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head.
"It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.
Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes.
"That will be L1000, please".
"A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man.
"Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
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Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret?
He was a blubber mouth.
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What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The cowlick.
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