Animal Jokes

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For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."

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What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a соw spits?
A cud thud.

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What's a rabbits favorite musical?
Hare.

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How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.

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Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a соw and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's соw crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.

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What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.

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What do you get when a соw goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Becuase the "P" is silent.

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What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.

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What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
Hamburger.

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How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything.

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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven.

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What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.

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What would you hear at a соw concert?
Moo-sic!

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Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
Bonnie and Clydesdale.

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How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go.

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What did the farmer call the соw that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.

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Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!

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