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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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What is red and black?
A sunburnt zebra.
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Why don't black kids play in sand boxs?
Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
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Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.
For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk.
The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.
For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk.
The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.
For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk.
However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.
As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
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What kind of whale flies?
Pilot whales.
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I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s вullshiт – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole соw, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts.
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Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
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How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his вuтт?
Tricera-bottoms.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
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How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.
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Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!
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What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
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Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
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