Animal Jokes

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Why are cats bad storytellers? – Because they only have one tale.

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I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”

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God creating cats
GOD:make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of
ANGEL:ok…anything else
God:yes put razor blades on its feet!!!

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You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?

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How do you know when an asian broke into your house?
You can´t find your dog.

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Person: where do i commit sucide
Dog: roof
Person: good idea

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Adam gave Sally 3 flowers and 1 stuffed animal. Kristen gave Sally 5 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. What does Sally have?
Cancer.

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Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school
He was a cheetah

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Got a new car. Chicks love it.

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They are not dangerous if you raise them right. I strongly disagree. Blonde women with Chucky tattoos are dangerous no matter how they're raised

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Did You Know ? There is a breed of black chicken that Lay black eggs. Don't believe me ? Just Google Big Black Cocks

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In polish, seals are called 'Foka'. So, here's a picture of a baby foka and a motherfoka

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Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's sсrеwing a chicken.

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Q: Why do farmers put bells on cows?
A: Their horns don't work.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a centipide with a parrot?
A: A walkie-talkie.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
A: Jurrassic Pork.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
A: Bacon and legs.

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Q: What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs?
A: Anything you want - he can't hear you.

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