Aviation jokes, Flying jokes, Pilot jokes, Airplane jokes

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"Kein Grund zur Aufregung Pendant un vol transcontinental (non ce n'est pas le vol TWA 800) Piloten hade fått noggranna instruktioner om att han skulle behandla passagerarna psykologiskt i alla situationer. Framför allt hade han fått lära sig attt aldrig säga eller göra något som kunde... Die Fluggäste sehen
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There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.
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Падобран Parachute Crap Shoot Bush der Papst und ein Schuljunge Flugzeug stürzt ab Бил Гејтс A lawyer В един самолет пътували четирима души. Президент Ένα βράδυ Obama A blonde woman An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board Bush A blonde Un avión está a punto de estrellarse. Hay cuatro pasajeros en el avión pero solo tres paracaídas. El primer pasajero dice: "Soy Steph Curry En Norrman Ein Flugzeug ist am Abstürzen. 5 Passagiere sind an Bord An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said Een dokter En präst Four people are in an airplane En un avión iban 4 personas There are four people on an airplane. The pilot Der var tre mand ombord på en brændende flyver. En advokat En un avión iba el Papa In einem Flugzeug sitzen 4 Leute: Trump There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard Francis Pope En tysk Donald Trump Bill Clinton 5 Leute sitzen in einem abstürzenen Flugzeug An airplane was once making a routine flight from Hackensack Em um avião estavam Michael Jordan Donald Trump ein Prominent ein alter Opa und ein kleines Schulkind sitzen im Flugzeug. Das Flugzeug ist gerade am abstürzen Egy repülőgépen utazik Bush Aux journées portes ouvertes d'une base militaire Čech Su un aereo c'è Berlusconi Ein Österreichischer Pilot Obama Van e un avion Obama En un avión viaja Ronaldo In einem Flugzeug sitzen Der Präsident der USA
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All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or Reported:
1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant Crew, the pilot said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached Cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for Your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight Attendants."
2. On landing the stewardess said,
"There may be 50 ways to leave Your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane."
3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella.
Whoa!"
4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please Take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a Landing like that, sure as hеll everything has shifted."
5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will Descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull It over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, Secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with More than one small child, pick your favorite."
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