Women - Page 22

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and вlоw in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"

37 0

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?"
The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?"
The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?"
The blonde woman replies, "Um. Oh yeah, I remember now. 'Feed the pigs - and don't touch a thing!'"

37 0

Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

What a woman says:
This place is a mess! Right now - c'mon - you and I need to clean up. Your stuff's all over the floor, and you'll have no clothes left to wear if we don't do laundry right now."
What a man hears:
"Blah, blah, blah blah RIGHT NOW blah blah YOU AND I blah blah blah ALL OVER THE FLOOR blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW."

37 0

Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

This Farm Boy Goes Into a Whоrеhоusе...
A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whоrеhоusе. He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl. She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive.
After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde рrоsтiтuте comes in. The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window. The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress. As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window. Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hоокеr, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing. The girl removes her раnтiеs, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window.
The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hеll are you doing?"
The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuскin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can giт."

37 0

Blue Collar Jokes Jokes about Women School Jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you."
The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fат in those pants."

37 0

Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Bar and Bartender Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Fat Jokes

A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunк."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."

37 0

Church jokes Jokes about Women Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Ugly Jokes

The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat.
During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"
"Sсrеw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"

37 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Sex Jokes Wedding jokes Love Jokes Hotel Jokes

Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ?
Not only am I going to hеll, but I will never know why.

37 0

Jokes about Women God Jokes

Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.

37 0

Jokes about Women

Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !"
Ramu: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Ramu: "She's a woman".

37 0

School Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

A boy went into a hоаrе house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected рrоsтiтuте.
The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall.
He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected.
The boy answered,
"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuск the milkman and that the ВАSТАRD that ran over my dog.

37 2

Prostitute Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Sex Jokes Business jokes Dad Jokes

A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sеx.
She replied, "I do too!"
He gets confused and asks why.
She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."

37 0

Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.
The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.
The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America ." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.
The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sасrifiсе my life and let you have the last parachute."
The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's a parachute left for you. Australia's smartest woman took my schoolbag."

37 0

Political Jokes Jokes about Women School Jokes Kids Jokes USA Jokes Military Jokes Aviation Jokes Australia Jokes American Presidents Humor

A girl goes to a library.
Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent."
Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.

37 0

Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers?
1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles.
2. Hunters always....shoot twice.
3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!

37 0

Hunting Jokes Jokes about Women Love Jokes

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator.
A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground.
Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!

37 0

Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women

A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sеx, so the Рrоsтiтuте said, "All right, now give me my money!"
The Koala replied, "Money, what for?"
"What for?", the Рrоsтiтuте growled,
"Look up Рrоsтiтuте in the dictionary and read what it says."
So the Koala looked up рrоsтiтuте in the dictionary.
It said, "Рrоsтiтuте- A woman who is paid to have sеx."
" Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says."
So the Рrоsтiтuте looked up Koala in the dictionary.
It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."

37 0

Animal Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Sex Jokes American Presidents Humor

A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup.
While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sеx."
The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup.
While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sеx."
The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup.
This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?"
The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."

37 0

Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord.
"Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !"
"Did you get a вlоw job ?" asks the landlord.
"No ..." he says, "I never found the head."

37 0

Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.
The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.”
A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.”
The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”

37 0

Parent Jokes Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Men jokes Baby Jokes