Computers

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What is the other name for the ‘Intel Inside?'
"The warning label." {Intel inside.......fool is outside}.

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What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!

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Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

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Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.

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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.

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Chuck Norris does not know about this website.
If he did he would have just deleted the internet.

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Two bloggers chatting:
Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice.
Son: Where, Give me the link please.

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Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

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The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.
This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

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What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

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Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered?
Because he had a chip on his shoulder.

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When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.

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Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.

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What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!

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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.

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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.

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Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp.
At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets.
He fired several shots at the target.
The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target.
He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again.
He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

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Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!

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