Computers

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Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.

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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.

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Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.

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What do computers eat when they get hungry?
"Сhiрs."

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Which way did the programmer go?
He went data way!

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A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?

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Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?

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When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

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What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
The car salesman can probably drive!

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Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!

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What do rabbits put in their computers?
Hoppy disks.

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How many programmers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.

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God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates.
‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God.
‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’
Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’
Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news.
The bad news is that God is really annoyed.
The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’
Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news.
The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world.
The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’

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An internet maniac boy asks his father:
Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?

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What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."

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Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.

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A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp.
Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"
Genie:
"Uh, let me see that map again."

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An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree.
They all get out and discuss how to fix the car.
The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’
The engineer says, ‘That would take too long.
I have my penknife here.
I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’
The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’

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