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50 kick-аss and I will маsтurвате in school then fuск my girlfriend after school

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Twinkle twinkle little prick
Why the hеll are you a dick
You think that you are super cool
When you look like a mother f*cking fool
Twinkle twinkle little prick
Go and suск yo mommas dick

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Q. What do you call a Jewish girls воовs?
A. Joobs.

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Making love to music can be really romantic but only if you last longer than the intro of track 01.

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Crocs are like gаy вlоw jobs,
The feel great until you look down.

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Can i get 100 kickass for my dead bro

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Once a nun was taking a bath when someone knocked on the door,
"Who is it?"
" It's the blind man, can I come in?"
She decides to let him,
"Okay"
She says, he walked in and says:
"Nice тiтs, now where do you want me to hang the blind?"

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Something's getting proactive in my pants!

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What is the difference between a sреrм and a lawyer? None, both have one in a million chance to be human beings.

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So, my wife's lying there. She's smoking her special after-sеx Benson and Hedges 9000. She goes, 'You know, John, we've been married a long time. Maybe it's time we thought about having a тhrееsоме.'
'Yeah.' Then I said, 'You know what, Fran? I'm 260, you're 180 -- I think we just had a тhrееsоме.'

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A guy brought his girl from college home to meet his parents. Since he had already moved out, his room had been replaced with the Mothers office, so the guy and his girlfriends had to sleep on the stop bunk of his little brothers bed. Whenever they thought his little brother was asleep, they began there "nightly thing". He told her to say lettuce for harder, and turkey for a different position. "Lettuce, turkey, lettuce, letuce, LETTTUUUCCCEEE" Then the little brother screamed "Ughhhh STOP MAKING SANDWICHES! Y'all are getting mayonaise all over me!"

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Three things funerals and sеx have in common!
1. They both put a stiff in a box.
2. They both require lots of tissues.
3. They can both sometimes make people cry.

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My wife swallowed my man yogurt this morning for the first time.
I don’t she’ll ever ask me to make her a sandwich again.

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Are there any single women here? I'm going to let you know right now -- I am great in bed. I can sleep 12-14 hours at a clip.

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Girl:
'showering, Baby brother walks in'
Boy: What are those?
Girl: These are my balloons
Boy: Okay
The next morning the girl wakes up in hospital
Girl: What happened?
Boy: I was playing with your balloons last night but then they just popped.

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Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

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Guy: This chair is too hard.
Me: So was my diск last night but i didn't hear your mom complain.

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Just been arrested by the police after recently being given the part of Romeo in my local theater. The script clearly said ‘Enter Juliet from behind’.

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