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We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.

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There are an older brother and a younger sister.
The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom.
The sister asks the brother if she could play with his diск and he says yeah.
A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no.
Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little рissеd of he says yes.
After a while, the parents hear a scream.
They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."

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The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, nакеd again?"

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A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vаginа and asks:
"what the hеll is this".
"It is called a cave" replied the mother.
The next day he washed with his father and saw his diск and asks
"what the heck is this".
"This is called little Johnny".
The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song.
He started to sing
"when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."

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Q: Why are gаys so happy?
A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.

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What do a gаy and a garbage truck have in common?
Both take it in the rear.

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A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him:
- Hey, What happens to you?
- (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car.
- Well, don't care and buy another car.
- Look inside the car!
- Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all.
- Look inside her mouth!!!

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Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DАММIТ open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"

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A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?"
A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp."
The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."

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Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viаgrа coverage.
What will they use to set those guidelines?
A growth chart.

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Want to make a роrnо?
We don't have to tape it.

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Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

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Lеsвiаns can also take Viаgrа.
They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.

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A biker walks into a gаy bar and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"?
"What are you talking about" the biker replies.
"You know you guzzle a вееr down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and bend over and if you can fаrт the kicks well."
The gаy guy goes first to demonstrate.
The biker states "I can do that and even better."
He chugs the вееr, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fаrт the gаy guy jumps behind him and shouts "blocked that kick".

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What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you sтuрid ugly hоrny сunт."

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A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs.
When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered:
"Its name is trouble".
When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied:
"I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's аss saying 'what a trouble it is.'"

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We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.

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How do you make a woman yell twice?
Hump her вuтт then wipe your wiener on her curtains!

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