Fitness jokes

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Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym.
After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.
One turned to the other and said,
"I'm sore, eh?"
The other said,
"What for?"

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All the gym bunnies moaning about the newbies.
Get over yourselves.
You didn’t see us moaning when you came to use our pubs in December.

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Exercise, eat right, get good sleep, take your vitamins…die anyway.

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My wife just said to me “The only reason you’ve started to go the gym is so you can find yourself a nice young girl.”
I said “I’ve found one, the only reason I’m going the gym is so I can catch her.”

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People who think they can run away from their problems have obviously never farted on a treadmill.

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Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.
Ab originals.

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My local gym make it extremely difficult for newcomers to join.
They’re on the 27th floor with no lift.

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I don’t understand why gyms have mirrors. I know what I look like. That’s why I’m here.

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For all you dieters: I have a new favourite vegetable.
Carrot Cake.

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I’ve accepted the fact that being cremated is my last hope for a smoking, hot body.

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Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I’m 82

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When you stop and think about them, treadmills are fuскing dangerous.

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