Halloween Jokes

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1.Yo mama is so fат that she looked up cheat codes for Wii Fit
2. Yo mama is so fат that she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
3.Yo mama is so fат that people jog around her for exercise.
4. Yo mama is so fат that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale.
5.Yo mama is so fат that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
6.Yo mama is so ugly that people go as her for Halloween.
7.Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head.
8.Yo mama is so ugly that she makes blind children cry.
9.Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her.
10.Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"

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Today's Halloween Specials:
Ghoulash, scream beans, scalped potatoes, and Mummy's tomb-make booberry pie with I scream.

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A ghost joke
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off?
Ban-she Ban-she!
A vampire joke
What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?
A coffin break!
A witch joke
Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches?
Because it was an 'appy rash!
A Halloween joke
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
Because he just came to pick up his sister!
A cannibal joke
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
A witch joke
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat?
So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen!
A witch joke
What has six legs and flies?
A witch giving her cat a ride!

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Neighbor’s Subtle Halloween Decor

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For Halloween I'm going to go as a normal person with no mask since that seems to scare the shiт out of everyone.

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Anyone else feel like Halloween is unnecessary this year? I've been wearing a mask and eating candy for 7 months now, I don't think I need a day dedicated to it anymore.

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If Obama controlled Halloween, would he take all the candy from the kids trick-or-treated and give it to the kids who didn't trick-or-treat?

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What’s the turkey’s favorite Halloween costume?
A gobble-in.

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What’s a potato’s favourite song to dance to at a Halloween party?
The ‘Monster Mash’.

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Who did the hotel hire to work over Halloween? A skeleton crew.

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What is the most common Halloween outfit for a pig to dress up as?
Frankenswine.

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What did the frog dress up as for Halloween?
A prince.

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Yo' Mama is so ugly, yo' dad only takes her out on Halloween.

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Yo' mama so ugly, they give her an extra 364 days for Halloween!

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Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks.
Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven."
Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

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Q: What do rednecks do on Halloween?
A: Pump kin.

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Yo momma's so ugly, in September, folk say, "Dамn it, can't believe it's Halloween already. "

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Yo momma's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

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