Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

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When I was born, everyone was so happy.
Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’

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Our baby looks just like me.
But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.

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What do you give a cat for its birthday?
A catologue.

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Mommy, Mommy!
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?"
"Shut up and eat your corn flakes."

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"Some plants," said the teacher, "have the prefix 'dog'. For instance, there is the dogrose, the dogwood, the dogviolet. Now name another plant prefixed by 'dog'."
"I can," shouted a blonde. "Collieflower!"

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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.

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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.

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Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!!
Drew: Yes, it's really strange.
I've got another pair just like that at home.

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Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy?
Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy.
Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy.
Teacher: What about you Sean?
Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy…

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When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.

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He’s been hitting the bottle for years.
He’ll be two tomorrow.

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‘Is your baby a boy or a girl?’
‘Of course.
What else could it be?’

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Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.
The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.
Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is.... fluctuation."
The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's suскs! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"

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Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.

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Q. What do gаy kids get for Christmas?
A. Еrестiоn Sets.

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When does a реdорhilе go to sleep?
When the big hand touches the small one.

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What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
He called a toe truck.

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Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.

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