Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Chuck norris once had a lemonade stand
A nerdy kid came up and said you should of made a grape juice stande
He is now known as stephen hawking

0

0

The school called me today and said,
"Your son's been telling lies".
"Well tell him he's f*cking good" I replied, "I ain't got any kids!"

0

0

A kid walks in on his dad f*cking is mom, he goes into his grandmothers room, his dad walks in, "Son, what the hеll are you doing?!"
"You were f*cking my mom, now I'm f*cking yours!"

0

0

What is the difference between a priest and Listerine Junior?
The Listerine warns kids not to swallow.

0

0

Son: dad dad a kid told me I am gay
Dad: well kick his ass
Son: oooh nooo he is so cute

0

0

There was a person sitting on the park bench. Some kids ran past and called him a motherf*cker. He didn't know what it was so he went he and asked his mother. His mother was startled so she said it means guests or friends. The next day some people said he was a рussy. Again he asked his mother and she said it was food. A few days later he heard a conversation and some said"having sеx."He asked his mum and she said getting ready. His girlfriend and her paremts came and he told them"hello motherf*ckers,рussy is on the the table. Mm and dad are having sеx.

0

0

(Mom playing with her child)
Mom-Got your nose!!!!!
Kid- Вiтсh If u got my nose then how the fuск am i still breathing?

0

0

Cocky Kid: I have the body of a God!
Average Kid: Yeah; shame it's Buddha.

0

0

It's okay Emo kids; Pokemon hurt themselves in their confusion too.

0

0

Random kid: Dafak ya lookin' at!? I'ma fak ya an' yo peeps!
Me: Stand back, I'm gonna try to communicate with it.

0

0

You want to know what its like to have a fourth kid? Imagine you're drowning, and then someone hands you a baby...

0

0

A kid went to the police department to report about his stolen bicycle.
OFFICER: Are you suspicious about anyone who would steal it?
KID: My parents, I guess. Because in the night I heard dad saying:
"Нuмр on it before Derek wakes up!"

0

0

Teacher:Why didn't you do your homework?
Student: I was busy last night.
Teacher: What were you doing?
Student: Well I had soccer practice until 7:30, then i had to eat dinner with my family. I then went to bed.
Popular kid: So you went to bed early! BABY, BABY!
Student: Well, I didn't go to bed by myself.

0

0

Chuck Norris: Now kids do not try this "Swallows Lava"

0

0

A kid has a shower with his mom and says dont look up so he does and said mommy whats that the mum said the garage sweetie
The next day the kid has a shower with his dad and the dad said dont look up so he did and he said whats that daddy the dad said the harley
That night the kid sleeps in his mom and dads bed and the dad comes in a says copme on time to move i have to park the harley in the garage and the little boy said i just did that daddy

0

0

I just saw two elementary school kids having a fist fight. So as an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance.

0

0

Yo mamma so fат when she went out side in a yellow rain jacket and the kids yelled the school bus is here

0

0

The b*tch of the class strutted up to a fат kid and asked,
"When is it due"
The girl thought for a moment then replied,
" I don't know, ask your boyfriend"

0

0