Lawyer Jokes

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A lawyer called his client but their young son answered the phone, whispering "Hello?"
The lawyer asked if the boy's parents were home and the boy replied in a whisper, "Yes, but they can't come to the phone, they're very, very busy." A bit frustrated the lawyer asked if anyone else was home, to which the boy replied in a whisper, "Yes, my brothers are home, my sisters are home..."
The lawyer asked the young boy to put one of them on the phone, to which the boy replied in a whisper, "They can't come to the phone, they're very, very busy." Now very frustrated the lawyer asked if anyone else was home, to which the boy replied in a whisper, "Yes, my aunts are here, my uncles are here..."
The lawyer asked the young boy to put one of them on the phone, to which the boy replied in a whisper, "They can't come to the phone, they're very, very busy." Now completely frustrated the lawyer screams, "What are what are they all doing?"
The boy replied in a whisper, "They're looking for me".
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Прочешлување Deathbed Lawyer Адвокат лежи на смъртно легло в болницата. O advogado Den gamle advokat var alvorligt syg Den gamle advokat var meget syg Egy ügyvéd haldoklik a kórházban Egy ügyvéd a kórházban
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A violent tropical storm enveloped a sailing yacht off the southern coast of Florida lasting all night and most of the next morning. As the sky cleared and the seas calmed, the people on the yacht realized they were grounded on a coral reef about a mile from shore in shark infested waters.
Most of those aboard the yacht were badly injured from their ordeal. The only able bodied that were on board were a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer.
The doctor says, “Someone is going to have to swim ashore and get some help. I would volunteer but most of the crew and passengers are in pretty bad shape and I am needed here to care for them.”
The priest replies, “I would volunteer to go also but I might be needed to comfort the injured or perform last rights.”
The lawyer says, “No problem.”
He immediately strips off his shirt and dives into the shark infested water. There is a great turbulence in the water and then the doctor and priest notice that all of the sharks have formed a double line from the yacht to the beach allowing the lawyer to swim between them.
“My Goodness,” says the priest. “It is a miracle!”
The doctor looking at the lawyer swimming to shore says, “No, Father. It is not a miracle. It’s professional courtesy!”
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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that blonde’s are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.
So the lawyer asks if the blonde would like to play a fun game.
The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun.  I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.  Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.
This catches the blonde’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, she agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.  ‘What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?’
The blonde doesn’t say a word, but reaches into her pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it’s the blonde’s turn.  She asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail.  After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the blonde and hands her $500.  The blonde pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.  He wakes the blonde up and asks, ‘Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?’
The blonde reaches into her pocket, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
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