Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
0
0
0

A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked,
"Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?"
The father replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean." With that the father went to the telephone an dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said,
"Hello, is Melvin there?"
The man answered, "There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don't you learn to look up numbers before you dial them?"
"See," said the father to his daughter. "That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch...." The father dialed the number again. "Hello, is Melvin there?" asked the father.
"Now look here!" came the heated reply. "You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You've got a lot of nerve calling again!" The receiver slammed down hard.
The father turned to his daughter and said,
"You see, that was anger. Now I'll show you what exasperation means." He dialed the same number, and when a violent voice roared, "Hello!," the father calmly said,
"Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?"
0
0
Une jeune fille se rend compte qu’elle a des poils qui poussent entre ses jambes. 12 годишната Яна започват да и растат косми между краката и притеснено пита майка си. Майка и спокойно и обяснява Ein 12-jähriges Mädchen bemerkt Une fille à sa mère - Maman pourquoi j'ai des poils qui poussent entre les jambes ? - C'est normal c'est ton petit singe qui grandit. La petite fille va voir sa sœur et lui dit. - Tu sais j'ai mon petit singe qui grandit. - C'est bien le mien il mange déjà des bananes. Due bambine sotto la doccia: "Ehi A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said: "That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey Zwei Mädchen begegnen sich vor dem Schwimmunterricht im Duschraum. Sagt die eine: "Hey Zwei Mädchen unter der Dusche: "Hey Truusje komt aanlopen en zegt tegen haar moeder “Mam Een tiener meisje komt thuis en zegt tegen haar moeder: 'Mam Twee meisjes zitten samen op een bed.. Zegt de ene tegen de ander: "Kijk DAUGHTER: Mum! MUM: Whats wrong? DAUGHTER: I am worried. MUM: Why are you? DAUGHTER: Hair is growing here (between my legs). MUM: Wow! that place where hair is growing is "monkey" Annie zegt:mamma ik krijg haar op me pruim! Mamma:nee annie je moet dat zo niet zeggen dan zeg je ik krijg haar op me aapje Annie:ik wacht op mijn groetere zus en vertel het haar Komt de grote zus... Duas goratas passeano na praia de copacabana Na net dus jovens conversam: — Ai fofa A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already... A little girl walks up to her mom and says my monkey is growing hair Later that day the little girl tells her older sister and here's the older sisters replie my monkey is already eating bananas... Certa vez Duas meninas tomando banho Tinha duas meninas tomando banho juntas Uma de 13 anos e a outra de 14 Ai a de 13 fala para a de 14: — Olha A menina Lucia estava no banho e tinha esquecido de pegar o sabonete Uma vez UM dia a mãe chegou e viu a filha na frente do espelho pelada e a mãe disse: — Nossa como sua macaca está cabeluda a filha disse: — Ela já está até comendo banana. A loira entava no quarto da filha emquanto entava trocando de roupa. E a mãe loira disse para a filha minha filha voçe esta com a macaquinha peluda. E ai a filha responde. Mãe voçe esta por fora... Sabe o que a garotinha de 12 anos falou pra de20 e a de 20 anos falou pra de 12? 12 anos: E minha macaquinha ta criando cabelo. A de 20: E a minha já ta comendo banana A mãe chega no quarto Duas amigas de 14 anos estavão tomando banho juntas Duas adolescentes conversando: — Flavinha Uma adolescente olha para outra e diz:Amiga a minha macaquinha já esta criando cabelo. A amiga responde:Isso não é nada En jente var bekymret for at hun hadde fått hår mellom bena. Hun spurte moren om håret hennes. Moren hennes sa rolig: "Den delen hvor håret har vokst heter Monkey Da jenta kom i puberteten gikk hun til sin mor å sa
0
0
0
0
​A man dies and goes to heaven. One of God’s angels meets the man and says,
"Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay," the man says, “I never ate a piece of non-kosher food in my 90 years. Nothing.”
"That's wonderful," says the angel, "that's worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended the services all my life and always gave as much charity as I could."
"Terrific!" says the angel, "that's certainly worth a point."
"One point? Oy. How about this, I started a soup kitchen in my city and volunteered at the senior’s home."
"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.
"TWO POINTS!!" the man cries. "The way you guys grade, there’s no way my Selma got in here.”
“Selma who?” asks the angel.
“My wife, Selma Rothenstein. You know, Selma and I were married for 60 years and I never raised my voice at her, not even once."
“Oh, thaaat Selma,” the angel nods. “You put up with her for 60 years?! Come right in!”
0
0
0

0
0
0
0
0
0