Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
Max was worried. Sam, his loyal deli customer every day for thirty years, doesn't show up. Max loves Sam. Every day at the deli he gives him the best cuts, charges him the least, treats him like family.
So on the second day, his absence is again concerning. When he doesn't show up on the third day, Max is almost beside himself. The fourth day brings more agony with Sam's disappearance. On the fifth day, Friday, pacing back forth, not knowing what to do, he glances across the street at his competitor's deli. Through the window, he sees Sam at the deli counter right across the street.
Max tears off his apron, storms across the thoroughfare, and confronts Sam. "What are you doing? For thirty years you've been my customer. I've given you the best cuts for your meals, I've charged you next to nothing, I've treated you like my closest family! How could you show so little loyalty after all this time?"
"Relax," says Sam, "don’t worry. On Monday I had a root canal. The dentist said I should eat on the other side for a few days.”
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a ‘funeral director.’ After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers. With a smile on her face she explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’