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Every Wednesday night at St. Rocco’s Catholic Church is a marriage seminar for husbands.One night Father Gill asked Fabio to share his secrets for staying happily married for almost 50 years.
At St. Peter
- Honey, what will you give me for our 25th anniversary?
- A trip to Thailand?
- Wow, that’s awesome, and for our 50th anniversary?
- Then I pick you up again.
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I got really angry with my sat nav today. I even yelled at it to go to hеll. 20 minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.
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VISA
Police: Why didn
Между приятели:
Un employé de banque reçoit un coup de téléphone de sa femme comme quoi elle a perdu sa carte bleue.
Due amici scambiano qualche chiacchiera. "Sai ieri mia moglie ha perso la carta di credito..." "Ah mi dispiace! Hai fatto subito la denuncia?" "No no, tanto sicuramente il ladro spenderà meno".
Die Polizei fragt einen Mann: Warum haben Sie Ihre Kreditkarte nicht gemeldet, als sie Ihnen gestohlen wurde? Der Mann antwortet: Der Dieb hat weniger ausgegeben als meine Frau. Daraufhin die Polizei: Und warum melden Sie es jetzt erst? Der Mann: Ich...
Konrad freut sich: "Meiner Frau wurde vor zwei Wochen die Kreditkarte gestohlen." "Und da freust du dich?" staunt sein Freund. "Aber ja, der Dieb gibt weniger aus als meine Frau."
- Papá, papá, hace dos meses que perdiste la tarjeta de crédito y todavía no lo has denunciado. Y dice el padre: - Es que me he dado cuenta que el ladrón gasta menos que tu madre.
Perché se rubano la carta di credito ad un uomo questi non denuncia il furto? Perché il ladro spenderà sicuramente meno della moglie.
Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card. Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’ ‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend. ‘You should report this thief to the...
Miten mies huomasi, että hänen luottokorttinsa oli varastettu? Varas kulutti vähemmän rahaa kuin vaimo.
- ¡Papá!, ¡Papá!, ¿le robaron la tarjeta a mamá? - Sí hijo, sí. - ¡Papá! ¡Papá!, ¿y lo has denunciado? - No hijo, no. - ¡Papá!, ¡Papá!, ¿y cuando vas a denunciarlo? - Nunca hijo. El tipo que la ha...
Két férfi beszélget: - Képzeld, a múltkor ellopták a feleségem hitelkártyáját! - És, tettél feljelentést? - Dehogy tettem, a rabló jóval kevesebbet költ, mint az asszony!
Um homem comenta com o outro: — Roubaram meu cartão de credito. — Você ja avisou a policia? — Não. mas o ladrão esta gastando menos que minha mulher!
Kāpēc vīrietis neziņoja policijai Par nozagtu kredītkarti? Tāpēc, ka zaglis tērēja mazāk nekā Vīņa sieva.
Ein Mann erzählt mir, dass seine Kreditkarte gestohlen wurde. Er entschließ sich aber, es nicht der Polizei zu melden. Grund: Der Dieb gab weniger aus, als seine Ehefrau.
My credit card was stolen yesterday but not sure if I should report it. The thief is spending a lot less than my wife normally does.
A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, “Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright.” “Yes,” replied the man....
Έκλεψαν την πιστωτική κάρτα της γυναίκας μου. Δεν παραπονιέμαι, ο κλέφτης ξοδεύει λιγότερο από αυτήν.
A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.
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Despite protests, I put a high-voltage electric fence around my property.
My wife’s dead against it.
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Do you know why only 30% of wives make it to heaven?
Because if there were more, it would be hеll instead.
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My husband and I had very happy twenty years.
After that we met.
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- Mommy, why are all the cars beeping their horns?
- Because there’s a wedding going on.
- But isn’t the horn a warning signal, Mommy?
- Exactly, son.
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Край, напускам те!
- Я ухожу от тебя, ты вечно подкалываешь меня по поводу лишнего веса!
- Напускам те! Писна ми от твоите шеги за наднорменото ми тегло!
- Si tu me dis encore une fois que je suis grosse, je te quitte !
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Sie: "Ich habe es satt. Ich kann deine fiesen Bemerkungen über mein Gewicht nicht mehr ertragen! Ich verlasse dich!" Er: "Aber mein Schatz, was ist mit unserem Kind?" Sie: "Was für ein Kind?" Er:...
“I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!”
“But honey, what about our child?”
“What child?!”
“Oh, so you’re not pregnant?”
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“Fancy that, Bob, I bought my wife an amazing white gold necklace with a platinum pendant and she didn’t speak to me for a month!”
“Really?! What got her so upset?”
“Nothing, that was part of the deal.”
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Women. A weak and helpless being from whom nothing can protect you.
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At a medical check-up:
- Do you do dangerous sports?
- Well, sometimes I talk back at my wife.
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Wife: “You know what? I refuse to talk about this anymore!”
Wife 10 second later: “And you know what else?”
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Optimist. A man who leaves the engine running when his wife says she’s “just going to run inside the shop to grab a bottle of milk.”
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“Hey George, what would you give to have my wife?”
“Are you high?! Not a penny.”
“Deal! She’s yours!”
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She: “All my friends are telling me I married an idiот!”
He: “What they mean is, only an idiот would’ve married you!”
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С жена ми често обменяме мнения. Често идвам с мои и си тръгвам с нейните ...
My wife and I often exchange opinions.
I come with my own and leave with hers.
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Arguing with a woman is like reading
Argument with a woman is like reading Software License Agreement.
Да спориш с жена е като да четеш лицензионно споразумение за софтуер...
Спорить с женщиной - это все равно, что читать лицензионное соглашение.
Да се спори с жена е същото като четенето на лицензионно споразумение.
Ein Streit mit seiner eigenen Frau zu haben, ist so ähnlich, wie AGBs durchlesen.
Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet.
In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.
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I’ve never been married, but I can imagine how it feels.
I once had a stone stuck in my shoe for 10 hours.
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