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Вицове за Отношенията мъже-жен...
English
Kampf der Geschlechter, Männer...
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Анекдоты про Мужа и Жену
Blagues Hommes vs Femmes
Barzellette Uomini e Donne
Ανέκδοτα γυναικών - αντρών
Он и Она
Kadın Erkek Fıkraları
Анекдоти про Жінок і Чоловіків
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Män och Kvinnor
Mannen en vrouwen moppen, Mop...
Mænd - Kvinder-vittigheder
Han og henne
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Bancuri Barbati Si Femei
Vtipy o mužích a ženách, Muži ...
Anekdotai apie vyrus ir moteri...
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Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
A: They always leave to go answer the door.
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Q. How do you get a nun pregnant?
A. Dress her up as an altar boy!
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A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.
The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?"
The blonde said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new вuтт because my old one has an enormous сrаск in it."
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Момичето с прогнозата за времето: " .. и понеже студа ще нахлуе от северо-запад
Weather girl: “…. and because of the cold front coming in from North-East, we can expect about 3 inches of snow, or, as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches.”
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"I have the body of an athlete."
"Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
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Why Airplanes are better than Women ?
Airplanes usually кill you quickly ...a woman takes her time.
Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch....
Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go"....
Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection....
Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation....
Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits....
Airplanes can be flown any time of the month....
Airplanes don't come with in-laws....
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before....
Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time....
Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes....
Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines....
Airplanes expect to be tied down....
Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills....
Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong....
However...when airplanes go quiet...just like women...it's usually not good.
If you miscalculate and make a mistake with an airplane, you don't have a bunch of "little airplanes" flying around out of control!
When your airplane is sitting there looking at you face to face whining @ 15,000 r's, you want to hear more!
With an airplane, your frequency is continuous, and not just once or twice a year!
The shape of an airplanes empanage stays constant over the years!
Airplanes don't stop for yard and garage sales or tupperware parties!
If an airplane gets in the way, you just put it out in the garage, and that is that!
It is interesting watching an airplane stall!
If a woman ground loops, it is usually more than just a broken prop!
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Q: What is height of Stupidity?
A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
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Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
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Garden of Eden
Adams Frau
Gott und Adam unterhalten sich
Η δημιουργία της γυναίκας
Το χαμένο κεφάλαιο
Ο Aδάμ & το πλευρό
На н-тия ден Господ създал Адам и го пуснал да си щъка из райските селения.
Einige Tage nachdem er erschaffen worden war
Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So
Adamo ciondolava su un ramo d'albero nel giardino dell'Eden e si sentiva molto solo. Allora Dio gli chiese: - Cosè che non va? Rispose Adamo: - Non ho nessuno con cui parlare. Allora Dio disse...
"Adam va voir Dieu et lui dit: - Seigneur
Jetzt haben Wissenschaftler festgestellt: Adam muss ein Schwabe gewesen sein! Die Erklärung: Adam saß im Paradies und ihm war langweilig. Darum sagte er eines Tages zum lieben Gott: "Kannst Du mir...
C'est Adam dans le Jardin d'éden. Dieu
Entediado
Adam lebt nun schon einige Zeit glücklich im Paradies
Efter næsten en evighed i paradisets have
Adán
Bóg stwierdził
Pan Bóg stworzył Adama. Adam cieszył się światem jaki stworzył dla niego Bóg. Jednakże po pewnym czasie stwierdził
Aatami valitteli Jumalalle yksinäisyyttään paratiisissa
Da Gud havde skabt Adam
Hier is de verloren paragraaf uit het boek Genesis : En zo vroeg God aan Adam
Un giorno Adamo
Adamo passeggiava nel Paradiso Terrestre. Si sentiva molto solo. Allora Dio gli chiese: “Adamo
En dag när Adam gick i paradiset så frågade han Gud om inte denne kunde fixa fram en partner åt honom. "Jodå
Certa vez
Adam og Eva Adam gik rundt og kedede sig i himmerige
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a теsтiсlе, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
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Мъжете са като bluetooth:
Чоловіки як Блютуз: доки близько — зв’язок добрий; коли далеко — відразу починає знаходити нові прилади. Жінка як Wi-Fi: бачить усіх
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
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How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
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Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
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Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a box?
A: A case of empties!
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Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: She crawled across the street when the sign said, ''DON'T WALK.''
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A father has three daughters who are all getting married on the same day.
He asks his oldest daughter, ''Whom do you wish to marry? She says, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest.'' He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest.'' He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, ''I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!''
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Why did the blonde have empty вееr cans in her fridge?
For people who don't drink.
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Импотенција
200 Prozent impotent
Срещат се две съседки на стълбището на кооперацията. Едната видимо тъжна и мрачна. Другата съответно я пита какво ѝ се е случило.
Trois copines discutent un soir : - Mon mari est impuissant à 50% - Ouais
Cest l'histoire de jeunes femmes qui parlent de leurs maris respectifs. La première : - Le mien est impuissant à 50%. La deuxième : - Encore
Trois femmes d'âge mûr prennent le thé et en viennent à parler de leurs époux. - Mon mari
Pani Kowalska
Zegt een vrouw tegen haar vriendin: "Mijn man is 300% impotent." Antwoordt haar vriendin: "Dat kan tch niet
Doua vecine discutau despre impotenta babatilor lor P1:barbatul meu este impotent 100% P2:asta nu-i nimica al meu e impotent 300% P1:de ce P2:impotent e de cand il stiu
- Képzelje doktor Úr! Az én férjem 300%-os impotens! - Hogy lehet az
Maria si Leana discuta despre sotii lor: - Mario
En kvinna berättar för sin väninna: - Min man är 300% impotent. - Va?! säger väninnan. Inte kan man väl vara 300% impotent? - Joo då.. igår var han bara 100% impotent men så ramlade han i morse
Τρεις Κυρίες συζητούσαν μέσα στο κομμωτήριο για τις ερωτικές επιδόσεις των συζύγων τους. Η πρώτη λέει: Ο δικός μου έχει 100% ανικανότητα. - Γιατί ρωτάνε οι άλλες; Γιατί δεν του σηκώνεται! Η...
И се жали Трпана на комшивката Мојот Трпе е 300% импотентен. Како ма
Trois amies discutent. La première dit : - Mon mari est impuissant à 75 %. - Te plains pas
A woman tells her doctor, "My husband is 300% impotent.
The doctor asks her, "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?"
She replies, "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."
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A couple celebrates their 30th anniversary by visiting fence against which they first made love.The husband says, "Come on, for old times' sake."
The wife agrees and they both undress.Afterwards, the husband says, "You're even better than you were 30 years ago."
His wife replies, "That fence wasn't electrified 30 years ago!"
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