Men-Women jokes

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A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.

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According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undrеssing in front of men than they do undrеssing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

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Shouldn't they put the words 'men' and 'women' on the bathroom doors? Just 'men' and 'women.' Sometimes, they get creative: they do pictures and symbols, and you've got to guess which one you are. People hate that. They have a few beers, and then they get down there, they're just like, 'Oh God, am I a compass or a thimble? Am I a jar of moths or a horse with skis? I just have to рее.'

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My girlfriend used to get upset because I left the toilet seat up. So, I don't do that anymore; I put it down. But there's no winning with her. Now she gets annoyed because it's covered in рiss.

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What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.

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A woman about sеx has to know ‘why?' and a man ‘where?'

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Trying to understand women is like trying to smell color 9.

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Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

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The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

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Did you know that there are 71.9 acres of niррlе tissue in the U. S.?

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If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

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When men say "I'm fine" they actually mean it.
Weirdos.

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Can you say three two-letter words that mean small? Is it in?

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There are two types of guys: those who рее in the shower and those who don't admit it.

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I'm like a child living by myself. I leave stuff on the stove while I'm sleeping. I wash my аss with the same rag I wash the dishes with.

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Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

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Women who seek to be equal to men... LACK AMBITION!

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Most women don't know where to look when they're eating a banana.

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